Editorial on the Sports Awards –
Swiss sport has no equal when it comes to looking cheesy
It starts with evening wear and continues with contempt for other cultures. The best athletes in the country deserve better than that.
Editorial Published today at 5:49 p.m.
Amid the confetti, Marco Odermatt struggles to hide his enthusiasm.
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It’s an immutable ceremony of corniness. The Sports Awardsyear after year, showcase a German-speaking Switzerland delighted to revel in its cultural sufficiency. Let’s take a look, but not the right one.
Because when the elite of Swiss sport get dressed up, beware of an epileptic attack. Between Dietikon brushing and Pfäffikon bangs, the rhinestone tiaras and asymmetrical dresses would go almost unnoticed.
Easier for men, since you just have to put on a traditional tuxedo, which considerably reduces the margin of infamy. Even there, they are able to add fanciful touches, like sequin stitching or orange bow ties. No wonder these people dip pineapple in fondue.
The tacky Award, however, goes to the master of ceremonies – the immutable Rainer Maria Salzgeber – who thought it was good taste to wear an entirely similar outfit. Pay attention to your eyes: a good old German-speaking fuchsia, with faded public transport seat reflections, in a complete shirt-tie-suit combo that looks wonderful.
Next to it, Granit Xhaka filmed from a low angle straight into the nostrils with her fresh hair implants, it was almost relaxing for the eyes. And what a relief to see him triumph for the title of MVP (which rewards the best player in a team sport) of the year against a unihockey goalkeeper.
Yes, because here, the summit of the haughty vision with which these people deign to look at the world around them, local sports, practiced by a handful of initiates, hold a candle to disciplines popular throughout the world and highly competitive sports such as Football, athletics or swimming.
In the complex department of Alemannic superiority, the festival continues from next week. Monday evening, Swiss Football Night will celebrate Swiss football. More precisely, football which is located between the Rhine, the Sarine and the Gotthard. For the rest, please sit quietly, listen to the translation, and above all not feel concerned.
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