Tinder fatigue: when dating apps wear you out

Emma Girard, 25, has never had any preconceptions about dating apps. This young woman even met her last boyfriend, with whom she stayed for three years, thanks to Tinder.

However, these days, more than six months after her return to dating platforms, Emma feels a certain fatigue.

It makes me a little depressed, spending time on Hinge.

Although she recognizes the positive aspects of such platforms, this architecture graduate, who says she is rather shy by nature, is annoyed to always see similar profiles appear on the screen.

I find that it looks a lot like consuming profiles, constantly looking for [trouver] best, always watch [pour voir] if there will be othersshe laments.

In Canada, nearly 9% of the population over the age of 15 has used dating sites or apps, according to 2022 Statistics Canada data.

Recent phenomenon

This phenomenon, called fatigue Tinderis still very little studied, according to Maude Lecompte, lecturer in the department of sexology at UQAM.

According to her, the exhaustion that some users feel is attributable to the time spent on the platforms, to the very functioning of the applications which sometimes allow a very large number of interactions as well as to the social codes which develop there.

You may not be the only person chatting with someone you met on the app. So, there is this whole aspect of competition which increases the need to be quick in one’s interactions, which can also fuel fatigue.explains this researcher, whose doctoral thesis focuses on Tinder.

While some apps have seen a decline in usage in recent years, it’s more because users are looking for platforms that better meet their specific needs than because they’re returning to traditional methods of finding love, according to Maude Lecompte.

This drop is very observed on the most popular applications, perhaps for the benefit of applications which are less quantitative and more qualitative in terms of dating.she specifies.

Play the ghost

Everyone ghost and everyone is doing ghoster and, at some point, you get a little nauseatingalso deplores Emma Girard.

The ghosting she’s talking about is when one person ends an interaction or relationship with another by disappearing without warning.

For Maude Lecompte, ghosting has become an online behavioral norm.

What has been documented is that the ghosting in itself, once, twice, yes, at the time, can be difficult to live with, but it has no deleterious effect in the medium term. Rather, it is repetition that can contribute to a certain psychological distressspecifies the researcher.

Quit apps?

Dating apps never did anything for me. I had Tinder before, but I took it off because I realized I was just using it for validationsays Damien, 20, who is studying for a bachelor’s degree in teaching at UQAM.

Open in full screen mode

His classmate, Gabriel, 21, admits to deleting and reinstalling his app more than once. I think there is a big lack of transparency on this. The goal is for you to make yourself swipe [choisir]. So can you really be yourself? he asks himself.

However, there are still options for those who wish to move away from online platforms, including dating evenings which continue to be organized across the country.

The movement of slow dating a precisely aimed at slowing down the pace of dates, explains doctoral student in sexology Maude Lecompte.

It’s the idea of ​​promoting quality encounters rather than as many people as possible, like what the most popular applications offer. […]to return to meetings where we take the time to discover the other, to think about our meeting and to make choices that suit us and respect our valuesshe specifies.

Applications like Once have emerged to meet this need.

After deciding to delete the application she uses for good, Emma Girard changed her mind. There, there is a person who interests me and I start writing to him again… I might have a nice meetinghopes this Montrealer, who also does not rule out the idea of ​​taking part in dating activities for singles.