… Vinícius is not going to take the Golden Ball.
… Vincent Labrune will be entitled to a raise.
… Jack Grealish will score a goal. Against his camp, on May 18, against Bournemouth.
… PSG will go out in the quarter-finals of C1. On a goal from Randal Kolo Muani.
… streaming sites, IPTV and Telegram channels are not going to disappear.
…Atalanta will finally lift the Scudetto which is rightfully theirs.
…Andy Carroll will be named in the 30 for the Ballon d’Or. Rayan Cherki too.
… Adrien Rabiot will obviously score a double at the Parc des princes.
… DAZN will offer an offer for less than one euro.
…the Saudis will return Manchester City to the way they found it: in tenth place in the Premier League.
…Martinique will fold the Gold Cup.
… Cristiano Ronaldo will return to Sporting. And Viktor Gyökeres will sign in Saudi Arabia.
… Paris FC is not going to move up to Ligue 1.
… Mason Greenwood will be voted player of the year by Marseille supporters. No comment.
… Habib Beye is not going to find a club.
… Álvaro Morata will return to Real, be loaned to Juve, then finally sign for Atlético.
… Noël Le Graët is going to come and settle scores with Zack Nani.
…Anthony Lopes will stop a peno from Alexandre Lacazette, send Corentin Tolisso to intensive care, and OL will crash at La Beaujoire on January 26.
… Presnel Kimpembe is going to play a football match. But certainly not with Paris.
… Zidane will become Minister of Sports in the Deschamps government, after the ninth reshuffle of the year.
… Antoine Griezmann is not going to return to the France team.
…Inoxtag will rise to the top of Peter Crouch.
… Kylian Mbappé will finish the season with 35 goals, win a La Liga and take the Nations League. A shitty year, indeed.
… Farès Bahlouli will make his return to Ligue 1.
… Roberto De Zerbi will bring Marseille back to the Champions League. Then resigning on August 25 after a 1-0 home defeat against Auxerre.
… Stade Brestois will finish in the same place in C1 and Ligue 1: eighth.
… Canal+ and the LFP will reconcile.
… Pep Guardiola will put his gossip on the Inter Miami bench. With Neymar in his luggage.
… USL Dunkirk will move up to the elite, build a 40,000-seat stadium, and go bankrupt. But it’s true that it rocks, “Potjevleesch Arena”.
… Didier Drogba is not going to return to OM.
…DAZN is going to pay people to force them to attend the Club World Cup.
… Ibrahima Konaté will help Mohamed Salah win the Champions League. And not the other way around.
… Aurélien Tchouaméni will receive Elon Musk and Donald Trump in The Bridge.
…Christophe Kerbrat will offer himself a second Coupe de France, with Stade Briochin.
… Layvin Kurzawa is going to find a new fictitious job.
Scary Manchester United stats
