Long black hair loose on her shoulders, a sunny smile… Amal, 35, has come a long way. She suffered 17 years of control and beatings from her ex-partner.
17 years punctuated by 7 departures. Every time she tried to escape his violence, he caught her.
Isolated, lacking self-confidence, she found refuge at the Villa Victoria in Nice. It was February 15, 2023, the day after a Valentine’s Day where her ex rained down blows again.
If she agrees to testify, it is to give courage and hope to the victims. But also to pay tribute to the Villa Victoria team. This house where she rebuilt herself allowed her to spread her wings to make a new start.
She tells us about her rebirth, after hell.
Under the influence
“I got married very young. When my father left home, it was as if I had replaced him with my ex. It was more than love or an emotional bond in fact, it was finding a masculine presence that I had lost. He was my bearings. He was the one who directed me in life. In fact, I was suppressed, I had no personality basically.
“The influence was to tell myself: without him I am nothing. I was always in his shadow.”
For my passion, cooking, he said to me: “I don’t see you in that, it’s a hard job, for a man. I don’t want you coming home at 1 a.m..” I had lost self-confidence and it slowed down my dream of cooking.
“I stayed under control for 17 years, I went back and forth 7 times. I nearly died, I was in a coma for 1 week… I divorced in 2013 and I came back in 2014.
As soon as I left the house, as he is a very manipulative person, he always managed to get me to come back.
And he used all means. We were separated for two years. I was a cashier, but he came to give me trouble at work, I lost my job. I found myself with rent to pay, without salary, so the only solution was to return to him. He always tried to find the weak point to rely on, he succeeded for 17 years. Each time, I tried to get out of it alone.”
Until Amal (“that means hope,” she emphasizes with a smile) found refuge at the Villa Victoria.
Arrival at Villa Victoria in February 2023
“I arrived the day after Valentine’s Day 2023. I suffered violence, and, to keep me safe, they brought me here. At first, it was very hard. I had to leave my apartment, leave all my bearings.
I came in with the mindset of a battered woman. I thought I was nothing. I was worthless.
I didn’t know how to say no to people. Maybe for fear of losing them. But little by little, with the sessions with the psychologist, with the educators, I started to gain confidence in myself.”
With Marylin, the mistress of the house, I cooked. It’s my passion, cooking! I got a CAP in gastronomic cuisine with a great French chef, Thierry Marx. But this diploma remained in the cupboard. As my ex told me that I was not capable… I had lost confidence in myself.”
Awakening and taking flight to a new life
“Here I woke up. I stayed 8 months at Villa Victoria, from February to November 2023. The psychological sessions helped me, but so does everyone else. With the other women who experienced the same thing, we talk, we feel less alone. We are united. Even the little children are therapy for us, because we play with them, it takes us out of the depression.
“I never felt like I was capable of doing things, and I created that confidence here.”
When you leave your home, it’s difficult to find accommodation and a job. And then the mind is not doing well. But if there is no mind. There is no work. There is nothing in fact, it’s a vicious circle and here we break this circle, it gives us all the tools. Crutches for walking. And the wings to fly.”
And Amal took flight towards her new life.
“At the Villa, I revisited couscous with Maryline, the hostess, and I showed it to a great chef. He told me: “it’s amazing”. I started as a kitchen assistant in a restaurant in Nice and today I am a section chef and I have my recipe on the menu. Everyone comes to eat my Moroccan couscous. I really have butterflies in my stomach. I didn’t know I was going to live such an adventure.”
She pauses. Overwhelmed by emotion.
“I am moved with joy. I have all these abilities within me and I stayed 17 years with a guy who told me that I was nothing. Frankly, we have a resource within us, we just have to reveal it. nine months, I changed 180° Before, I was eaten by everyone, even an 11 year old child. Today, I know how to say no, put up barriers so that I don’t miss. respect and I have the chance to do a job in which I take great pleasure.”
