“There is a desire for order in many people, a desire for everyone to fall into line, and that terrifies me.”

“In my town of 6,000 inhabitants, the candidate of the National Rally [RN] came out on top in the first round, with 45% of the vote. I tell myself that there must be RN voters in my street, very close to my home. I think about it all the time. It creates a form of curiosity and suspicion that I try to fight against. I talk very freely about my vote for the New Popular Front and my left-wing convictions to the people I meet at the bakery or in the street, but they don’t answer me. There’s a kind of awkward silence, a malaise. I don’t try to find out who people voted for. It’s better not to get angry with your neighbor! Well, in my close circle, I know that no one voted RN. I’m selective about ideology.

I have such a hard time understanding how people can be convinced by this party and want to put Jordan Bardella and his uninhibited speech in power. It is not a question for me of blaming people for their vote. They certainly have their reasons. They felt ignored, abandoned, denied or disrespected. I am angry, but it dies down by itself because, deep down, I feel powerless in the face of all this. On the other hand, I still blame the representatives of the RN, who are selling hot air. And I blame Macron.

I never watch television, except for election nights, because I need to see faces. So, I was in my living room with my partner, and there, the announcement of the dissolution: we fell into total shock. I even told myself that he was knowingly handing us over to the RN. It sounds a bit conspiratorial to say that, but it is such madness.

Sunday evening, for the results of the first round, France 2 displayed a countdown. When I saw the results, I said to myself: “OK here we go.” I still have a slim hope that the RN will not obtain an absolute majority, but perhaps that is just denial. I keep telling myself that people will wake up, that it’s unreal. On the radio – I listen to France Culture and France Inter, even though they despair me when they talk about the New Popular Front as the far left – I hear about a membership vote for the RN. How can anyone buy into what I consider to be such blatant lies? Have we all become so ignorant?

“Community life will suffer”

I am not discouraged, except in the face of the discourse according to which we could do nothing to resist. I am convinced that we can still do a lot. Even if I feel helpless, I want to believe that it will be possible to fight. I have always been committed and activist. As I get older, I am even more so. I raised my two daughters alone, so I had to get to the basics. Today, they are adults. One lives in Nantes and often goes to demonstrations. When I unfold the disaster scenario in my head, I imagine that future demonstrations will all be repressed violently and I fear for her.

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