The 2024 rankings | The Press

Move backwards! This expression borrowed from bus drivers sums up the year 2024 well. The United States has applied it well, by choosing, for 47^e president, their 45^e. France too, overthrowing the government every three months and bringing its former politicians back to the forefront. In Quebec and Canada, there is no shortage of examples, from the return of the third link to GST-free purchases. Move backwards is also the slogan of our hockey team, which is convinced that the more you finish behind, the more likely you are, one day, to be ahead. If it could be like this in all areas, at least it wouldn’t go bad for nothing.

Before it is behind us for good, here are the charts for 2024…

The list of films and series of the year 2024

10. Top Gun with Geneviève Biron

9. Civil war with Donald Trump

8. 1995 with Paul St-Pierre Plamondon and his referendum project

7. Fly me to the Moon with Jeremy Filosa

6. Completely high school with the management of the Bedford school

5. Never again… at Hi Hello with Gino Chouinard

4. A little something extra with Imane Khelif

3. Florida with Justin Trudeau at Mar-a-Largo

2. An unexpected voice with Celine Dion

1. The Little and the Old with Kamala Harris and Joe Biden

The list of songs of the year 2024

10. The Sound of Silence by La Tulipe’s neighbor

9. There was no hurry by Pierre Fitzgibbon

8. It’s just water (but it destroys bones…) by the geyser on Boulevard René-Lévesque

7. Bouette, bouette, bouette by Justin Trudeau

6. I will leave you words by Haroun Bouazzi

5. It’s not tomorrow by the third link

4. Lose Control pair of Northvolts

3. All the birches remember it by Guillaume Lemay-Thivierge

2. We Can’t Be Friends by Émilise Lessard-Therrien and Gabriel Nadeau-Dubois

1. Let fine you show par Chrystia Freeland

The political winners of the year 2024

20. Donald Trump wants Wayne Gretzky to be head of Canada, Dave Morissette to be head of Quebec and Cristobal Huet to be head of France.

19. Donald Trump would also like Alex Ovechkin to be head of Russia, but he doesn’t dare say it.

18. Minister Geneviève Guilbault returned responsibility for public transportation to the cities, declaring that everyone had to manage their own fern. Did she say that because the mayor of Montreal is called Plante?

17. In 2024, Pierre Fitzgibbon, like the sun, has disappeared.

16. “There is no point in running, you have to leave when the elections are called. »
– Extract from the fable The Poilievre and the turtle

15. The British were outraged because Kate Middleton’s photo was photoshopped, but they were touched when they found out why.

14. The battery sector is becoming sector 13.

13. To be more popular, Santé Québec will change its name to STAT-Québec.

12. In exchange for his support during the election campaign, Elon Musk obtained from Donald Trump the promise that he would give him the Moon. Really.

11. During the reopening of Notre-Dame-de-Paris, François Legault managed to meet Donald Trump by pretending to be Garou.

10. “At least the Canada Post strike didn’t affect me. »
– A homeless man who tries to see the bright side of life

9. Donald Trump said he would resolve the war in Ukraine in one day, but he hasn’t said which one yet.

8. Medical assistance in dying, in Russia, you don’t even need to ask for it, it’s the government that asks for it for you.

7. Having found himself very good on the show Hot Ones QuébecJustin Trudeau decided to eat spicy chicken wings during all his interviews.

6. Despite 34 charges, Donald Trump was elected President of the United States; Richard Nixon rolled over in his grave.

5. If we can no longer pray in public, we should not be able to worship in public either.

4. Donald Trump wants to annex the Panama Canal and the Lachine Canal.

3. Valérie Plante announced on October 23 that she was leaving in a year. When you want to get out of Montreal, it’s always better to plan ahead.

2. Joe Biden is reportedly convinced that Kamala Harris won the US election.

1. The cost of living has become so high that people prefer to do without it.

The sports winners of the year 2024

10. False, the rumor that a team in the new Canadian soccer league will be called The Drones.

9. Curiously, during the Montreal Cycling Grand Prix, no restaurant terrace was closed.

8. The most viewed sporting performance of the Paris Olympic Games was that of the Australian Raygun.

7. Ippei Mizuhara, Shohei Ohtani’s interpreter during press briefings with journalists, stole $16 million from the star player; Chantal Machabée wouldn’t do that to Martin St-Louis.

6. In 2024, in Quebec, immigration has been the scapegoat for all the problems. According to the CAQ, even the Canadian’s setbacks are caused by immigration: it is because Ivan Demidov remains in Russia that the CH does not win.

5. Of all the people who came from elsewhere, we can say that those who were best received in Quebec were the Los Angeles Kings, who received 7 million dollars to come to us. It must be said that they did not stay.

4. Olympic athletes kept lasting memories of the Paris Games, especially those who bathed in the Seine.

3. Warning to analysts: above all, do not say, during a women’s hockey match, that girls knit better.

2. Hammer thrower Ethan Katzberg is the male athlete of the year. What is RONA waiting for to take him on as a spokesperson?

1. As promised by CH management, the Bell Center will have mixed toilets.

The list of other businesses of the year 2024

10. The movie Our sisters-in-lawIt is Barbie on the Plateau Mont-Royal.

9. In 2024, there was a lot of talk about alpha males, but they didn’t understand anything.

8. According to ChatGPT, the personality of the year 2024 was ChatGPT.

7. If love makes you blind, why aren’t we suggested to wear, during our Tinder meetings, the same cardboard glasses as for eclipses?

6. Timothée Chalamet did not come to Montreal for the premiere of the film Dune, part two : « Been there, Dune that. »

5. During the opening ceremonies of the Paris Games, it was raining and it was so cold that singer Philippe Katerine, completely naked, turned blue.

4. On July 19, there was a global computer outage. Who Cairo?

3. French pole vaulter Anthony Ammirati was reportedly approached to advertise Manmade underwear.

2. At least the fake news isn’t true.

1. Taylor Swift (Should have at least been mentioned once in a 2024 review.)

The list of reasons why Donald Trump wants Canada to become 51^e United States State

10. To no longer have to negotiate with Canada.

9. To make the American hockey team better.

8. So that the wokes stop saying that it is better in Canada.

7. To make America even greater in the sense of greatness.

6. To go to Alaska by car without crossing a border.

5. To have a place to put immigrants.

4. To get everyone playing four-down football.

3. For the United States to become the leading producer of maple syrup.

2. To have a colder place if global warming is true.

1. To have one more star on the flag.

The list of reasons why we do not want Canada to become 51^e United States State

10. The Montreal Canadiens would be called the Montreal Americans.

9. Denys Arcand could no longer win the Oscar for best foreign film.

8. Going to Florida would no longer be exotic.

7. Separating from the United States may be even more difficult than separating from Canada.

6. We could no longer raise the price of hotel rooms for American tourists.

5. Kate Middleton would never become our queen.

4. Our closest neighbor would be too far away.

3. We would miss our health system.

2. We would all be Elvis Grattons.

1. Trump would be our president.

Farewell, 2024! The most beautiful collective memory of this year which is ending is Céline’s performance during the opening ceremony of the Paris Olympic Games. For 3 minutes 40 seconds, people from all over the world formed one nation, united during the hymn to love. For the time of a song, Dion brings together those who love each other.

For 2025, I hope that those who love each other will come together for 365 days and prove that love is stronger than hatred. Good year !