Aurélie Rivard | “A struggle with myself”

At the presentation of the finalists for the women’s 400m freestyle at the Paris Paralympic Games, Aurélie Rivard has anything but a conquering air when she walks towards the starting block. The face of the double title holder is closed, her features are drawn. As if she doesn’t quite want to be there. This is not an illusion.

In the preceding minutes, the Quebec swimmer had vomited in the call room. “I had never done that in my life, that had never happened to me! », said the four-time Paralympic athlete, Monday, on the sidelines of the press conference where Saint-Jean-sur-Richelieu announced that the swimming pool at the Claude-Raymond sports complex would henceforth bear her name.

“You know when you’re sick and you want to go to bed? I had to go do the 400…”

How could the event that brought her into the world with bronze in London in 2012 put her in such a state?

Even today, the 28-year-old swimmer, holder of 13 Paralympic medals, has difficulty explaining it. She nevertheless knows the precise moment when everything changed: June 14, 2022, at the World Championships in Portugal. Leader of the 400m final (category S10), she stopped at the wall after 250m, trying to catch her breath. She went back for a few pull-ups before pulling out for good, disoriented and convinced of her imminent death. She ended her day in the hospital.

It took her a long time to be able to put into words what she had experienced: a “big panic attack”.

She took even longer to open up publicly on the subject, almost two years later, after her victory at the Canadian Trials in Toronto in May. In hindsight, she believed that this attack was attributable to a sort of post-pandemic traumatic syndrome. To his surprise, his testimony had a wide impact, even outside sporting circles.

The event had kept her away from the pools for months, her brain associating water with danger. At the 2023 Worlds, she withdrew before the 400m final after dominating the preliminaries. In short, she had revenge to take with this middle-distance event for which she holds the world record established during her overwhelming victory at the Tokyo Games in 2021.

“I had a huge blackout”

In Paris, Rivard was not completely satisfied with her start, a bronze medal after a “correct” performance in the 50m freestyle. The train almost derailed three days later in the 100m freestyle, where she was aiming for first place. First in the heats, she was surprised by Frenchwoman Émeline Pierre in the final. The local favorite took advantage of the wave created by the Quebecer, glued to the cable, to beat her by 0.33 seconds.

“Even today, there are so many things that I did not understand about this race,” regretted Rivard. I had a huge blackout during the race. People told me things I didn’t remember. It really disappointed me because I hadn’t lost 100m in nine years and suddenly something didn’t work at the wrong time. [Émeline Pierre] swam well, but she shouldn’t have won. On paper, I’m two seconds faster. It’s not related. »

His coach Marc-André Pelletier felt the need to intervene, knowing the importance of the 400m three days later – and the mountain it could represent for his athlete. “We worked hard,” he noted. When she arrived in the water the next day, I told her: there, you are going to do everything I say, we are going to put you back top notch for the 400. We increased the level of practices. »

Rivard did not need to be reminded of what was at stake.

She was torn between doubt and confidence in her abilities. “Who was going to win? It was definitely a struggle with myself, before and during the 400. […] I didn’t want to be disconnected like I had been during the 100m where I didn’t remember anything. My goal was to stick to the facts, to reality, to my strategy. »

Third at mid-race, Aurélie Rivard had accepted the fact that she would probably not be leader at that time. True to her plan, she practically kept the same speed in the second portion to win gold with a lead of more than two seconds over the American Alexandra Truwit. Her time of 4 min 29.20 is the third of her career, which the world record holder takes pride in given the personal trials she went through during the last Paralympic cycle, which was also a year shorter.

“Fortunately, this race took all the place of disappointments,” she concluded about her fourth experience at the Games.

Will there be a fifth in 2028 in Los Angeles? The law student at Laval University wants to give herself time to think about it, but the 400m should not be part of her program. On the other hand, she has a score to settle with the 100m freestyle. “That’s probably why I’ll be in Los Angeles…or not. »