Probing the souls of personalities to survive the loss of their child. This is how the idea of these exchanges was born where Francis Van de Woestyne seeks out the human being hidden behind these men and women of power or glitter.
“The origin of these interviews is the death of our son Victor on November 4, 2016 at the age of 13. He was playing upstairs in the house. He was filming himself with friends and accidentally fell several meters high. I was editor-in-chief of La Libre at that time. I decided to return to work after three weeks. I had this need to immerse myself back into a daily life that allows you to structure your days. I needed continuity but also a change in this continuity. I was no longer able to concentrate full time on current affairs and human resources management, as required by the role I had. I then left my position as editor-in-chief to devote myself mainly to interviews. I started with those I knew best: the politicians. And very quickly, I expanded the panel to other personalities, each time addressing spiritual questions as well, about life, death, the afterlife.“.
Probing these souls is a form of therapy ?
“No doubt. In each of these interviews, I look for the beauty, the goodness and the kindness of these personalities. I want these interviews to do good, to the readers, to the person interviewed and to myself indeed. By approaching spiritual questions with certain personalities, I have sometimes found elements of answers to the questions that I also ask myself.”
What is your most memorable encounter?
“Alain Delon, in 2017. To the question ‘What is there after death?’ He replied: ‘I don’t know, I’ll tell you’. Spontaneously, I replied: ‘You will say hello to my son and the interview stopped. He took my hand and didn’t. It was five months after the death of my son. It was no longer the sacred monster of French cinema that I had in front of me but a father who was trying to console another. kept in frequent contact with valuable exchanges He was willing to help us to publicize the Victor Fund that we created following the death of our son. I found that after the death of Alain Delon, his human side. generosity that he had towards others through this sensitivity, have not been highlighted enough.
Francis Van de Woestijne probes the soul of personalities: “My worst encounter? Jack Lang. He took me for a provincial scribbler”
Who do you dream of interviewing?
“Emmanuel Macron. I especially want to know the man behind the president. This man is an enigma to me. He has an extraordinary career. I think he is a brilliant man even if I was a little disappointed by some of his political behavior but I am always interested in his personality. I would also like to meet Pope Francis. I, like many, was more than surprised, even shocked, by some of his comments during his visit to Belgium. . And at home, I would like to meet Stromae. I tried but as is often the case, I am faced with an entourage who fears seeing their protégé put in danger while it is the opposite that I am looking for. concept humanizes. I go from substance to glitter and not the other way around. I also want to show that in certain personalities, who may seem less intellectual, there is always substance, always something interesting to look for in humans. In the editorial office, we are sometimes surprised by the choice of personalities that I want to interview. It is then a challenge for me to demonstrate that there are very deep reflections to be sought in each person. For example, I was very marked recently by my meeting with Camille Lellouche. She is an exceptional artist but her sensitivity and her vision of life touched me more than anything else. When Laetitita Hallyday tells me, for example, that she prays every day, when I see that she is completely confident in telling me about such intimate moments, I am really touched. For me, these were successful encounters.”
It’s been eight years since you lost your son. Beyond these interviews, does time help you or is it your enemy?
“I haven’t found the answer yet. I would say both. Victor is everywhere, at my side. He is always with me. When I give conferences, I say that I am not alone on stage, there are two of us Victor is next to me. I am a rational person, but everyone who has lost a loved one has these synchronicities. I talk to Victor every day. You don’t get used to the death of someone. child, nor that of a loved one. I do not want to establish a hierarchy. Time also takes me away from Victor. Each day takes me away from the last second when I saw him, when I held him in my arms. arm.”
But you like to talk about death…
“The psychotherapist Christophe Fauré says that mourning is work and that it is like a scar: it always ends up healing, by closing. I don’t really like this work of mourning. Yes, I like talk about Victor, and I think we need to talk about death In certain circles, death is a taboo subject. Many didn’t dare talk to us about Victor’s death, as if somehow it could be contagious. I have friends who have never read our book Un Enfant, because they are afraid it will happen to them. At first, it made me angry. Now I understand this reluctance.
People who are afraid of the contagion of death, what you say is terrible…
“Yes, it’s something we felt. We wanted to talk about him, as much as possible. To prolong his story. Not his life but his story. Because his death remains unbearable. He would have been 21 years old this year.”
Do you feel like you’re surviving rather than living?
Yes. The worst part is the dates. Before these dates, I always feel physical pain. Victor was a big fan of the Christmas tree. As early as August, he was already thinking about installing it and decorating it with 100 balls. I planted a fir tree at the foot of his grave and I will decorate it like every year. Some people may think it’s completely inappropriate, but everyone perceives death as they want. I love my job and it allows me, like the love of those close to me, to keep me alive but the death of my son turned everything upside down and my last breath will, I think, go to Victor. I’ll tell him: ‘I’m coming.’ I don’t know how to phrase things but sometimes I want to rush this moment because the pain of Victor’s absence is sometimes unbearable for me and I tell myself that this is the only way to stop it. I then change my mind for my other children and my grandchildren. For all the love, joy and tenderness they give me.”
You created, with Victor’s mother, a fund intended to promote reading, in memory of your son. Has it made it possible to give a taste for books to young people who are increasingly glued to their smartphones?
“A child who reads will be an adult who thinks. Victor was passionate about reading, thanks in particular to his mother who took him to the bookstore every Sunday. Victor also had a smartphone. It was while filming himself with friends that His accident happened on the upper floor of our house. But he had a taste for reading and if, thanks to this Victor Fund, we pass on this passion to even one teenager per year, it is a victory for us. We.”
Your States of Soul always end with a short questionnaire “On the side of Proust”. This time, it’s you who will submit to it…
Your favorite virtue?
“Generosity.”
A motto or phrase that inspires you?
“There are two. ‘There is no chance, there are only meetings’. I also really like this phrase from Seneca who says ‘The important thing in life is not’ It’s not about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.”
How would you like to die?
“Aware. Aware and surrounded by my loved ones. I want to experience this passage. I want to be aware of the departure. I want to know that the moment has arrived.”
To have time to say goodbye?
“Yes, there you have it. In the remarkable film ‘De son vivant’, with Benoît Magimel and Catherine Deneuve, the oncologist, who plays himself, tells Benoît Magimel, suffering from cancer, that he is going to die and that we must clear the slate before we die by naming five things. I want to say them when the time comes. Forgive me. Thank you. and that I repeat every day. I say thank you often. Because despite everything, I like to say ‘I love you’.
The gift you wish you had?
“I think about it a lot, but it’s a gift that would allow me to hold Victor in my arms. Just to feel his warmth. To hear his laugh.”
