Since she told them about her cancer, Kate’s friends only talk to her about that: where are her treatments going, is she having any side effects… She knows they are worried about her but she would like to talk about something else when she sees them. How to make them understand without offending them? Sophie Lantheaume, clinical health psychologist at the Drôme Ardèche private hospital, advises her.
Sophie Lantheaume : Those around you sometimes have difficulty positioning themselves: should we talk about it, ask questions, wait for the sick person to talk about it? And if I don’t talk to her about it, won’t she think that I don’t care, that I’m not worried about her, that I’m not checking in?
Indeed, those around you sometimes need a few words to be reassured, to feel soothed in their worries. However, you are free to tell them what you need.
Allow yourself to tell them that you are touched by their interest and concern, but that above all you want to talk about something other than the illness because it is already far too present in your life. Perhaps you could get ahead of them by sending them a note to keep them, yourself, informed and suggest that the next time you see each other, you talk about other things!
If your friends are keen to check in on you regularly, they will also understand that you need to take your mind off things when you spend time with them.
