Romances are prevalent in the workplace. Despite their banality, however, it remains difficult to talk openly about these stories, both for those who keep their romances secret and for their employers.
Stéphane met his partner three years ago, when he arrived in an adult training company in Vevey. “The work allowed us to get to know each other gradually, over months. The key word in our relationship is step by step“, says this audiovisual trainer.
When the relationship began, he saw his motivation at work redouble: “It was intoxicating, it carried me away. I just wanted to go to work to see her, to meet her eyes and her smile,” explains Stéphane.
The two lovebirds decide not to disclose their story to their colleagues, then announce it to the human resources department after three months of romance: “They were surprised, but very caring.”
At that time, his partner had already found a new job elsewhere and was preparing to leave the company: “Luckily it didn't last long, because she also had a link with the human resources department; -be that [notre histoire] would have ended up being a problem,” says Stéphane.
Not always beneficial to the business
Covering 1,682 people, a study by the French firm Technologia published this year shows that 46% of employees have already experienced love stories in a professional context.
These relationships can also pose serious problems. Thus, respondents identify numerous risks of abuse such as the appearance of rumors and jealousies in the workplace, problems of fairness and favoritism between employees, abuse, and sidelining.
The private relationships that two employees can establish in principle do not concern the company and the company cannot issue a directive prohibiting any romantic relationship in the workplace.
According to Jean-Claude Delgènes, the founder of Technologia, very close proximity between two employees can make it “complicated to ensure that economic and financial dimensions prevail”.
“When you have objectives to achieve, when you have profitability to maintain, or even when you have layoffs to make, it is very contradictory with taking into account an emotional dimension which can intervene due to a relationship in love,” he explains.
An examination carried out by a firm
It is important for companies to organize internal relationships as well as possible. To do this, they can contact legal firms to see what the law allows. Like the one where Pieric Henneberger, senior lawyer at the DroitActif law firm, works. In this area, the bosses' room for maneuver is rather limited: “The private relationships that two employees can establish in principle do not concern the company and the company cannot issue a directive prohibiting any romantic relationship in the workplace “, he emphasizes.
However, it is possible to regulate relations with the hierarchy or to establish a duty of disclosure for the employee.
An internal regulation
But these options have rather limited effects, according to the operational director of the Harmony sports group Nicolas Tcheng. He was regularly confronted with love stories between employees. Despite his multiple training in management, he had to manage to find a solution to regulate the problems: “We are prepared for a legal framework, but not to manage [ces relations]. We are never told about it, whether in studies or continuing education,” he notes.
His group established guidelines in the internal regulations, such as prohibiting relationships with hierarchical subordinates and requiring disclosure in the event of a romance. “We must be able to guarantee a fair and just working environment,” specifies Nicolas Tcheng. The effects of these directives, however, seem limited, since no case is announced to the hierarchy in practice.
The question of hierarchical differences
Relationships involving a hierarchical difference are the most frowned upon among staff. If 84% of employees consider it acceptable to have a relationship with a colleague, only 43% of employees consider it acceptable if it is a relationship with a superior.
“I was afraid of being judged. And maybe also that my colleagues would change with me
Vanessa and Kevin experienced this situation. She raised many questions during the couple's establishment. Kevin manages eight second-hand stores in the Lake Geneva region. Vanessa started working there five years ago. A year and a half ago, their love story began, at first without informing colleagues and associates. An obvious choice for the couple, and especially for Vanessa.
“I was afraid of being judged. And maybe also that colleagues would change with me, that they would think: 'We won't talk to Vanessa anymore because she will tell Kevin everything.' I was afraid of losing communication with my colleagues and my identity at work,” she says.
Once the story broke, the couple addressed their colleagues' fears of favoritism. “He treats me like all employees. This is the rule that we gave ourselves straight away in our relationship. (…) I even think that he is more severe with me than with colleagues,” explains Vanessa.
Find balance
These fears subsided over time. Their love story no longer poses any problems today, their complicity even allows them to conclude very good sales, they assure.
They ensure that work does not interfere too much with private life. It's not always easy for Kevin: “When she comes home, she wants to tell me about her day. But at a certain point, I can't always think about work anymore. It's quite complicated. Now it's okay. We discuss it for a little while, then we move on,” he says.
The two lovers have found a balance between their life as a couple and their professional life. But the magic of love is often not enough: in a majority of couples born at work, one of the two partners changes employers to preserve the relationship, notes researcher Jean-Claude Delgènes.
Micaela Mumenthaler/ami
