For a couple to be a couple, there must first be love, a lasting love that binds two beings together; and then these two beings must be different and complementary, or rather that they play different and complementary roles, the masculine role and the feminine role, regardless of their biological sex. Thus: man and woman are profoundly different, sometimes strangers to each other, sometimes hostile towards each other, and yet we cannot live one way from the other.
What should I do to avoid crises and make my relationship last?
To answer this question, Juan David Nasio offers an allegory of lasting love which he calls: “ The allegory of the Stool “. Just like a stool with 4 legs topped with a tray, this represents the stability of the couple. In order for a couple to be stable, to last and to flourish, there needs to be a first footing, the most important one, which is sexuality; a second foot, that of reciprocal admiration; a third leg, that of rituals; and, finally, the fourth leg, that of the mobility of roles within the couple. So these are the four legs, the four pillars, of lasting love: sexuality, admiration, rituals and mobility. It must be added that the lasting union of a couple also relies on the capacity of the partners to make mutual concessions and to respect the necessary solitude of the other. However, none of these reflections claim to dispel the inexplicable magic of love. Love will forever remain unfathomable. One certainty remains: my loved one is the person who gets the best out of me, and yet, he is also the one who, by the simple fact of being other, limits me, restrains my desires and sometimes makes me suffer. The beloved is a two-faced genie who gives me wings and breaks them at the same time.
