4. Get out of the spiral by imposing rationalized thinking : giving credit to the views of others leads to making assumptions about what they think. This vicious circle of limiting thoughts can very quickly be stopped by establishing a mental list: 1/Take a concrete look at the situation “My manager responded curtly”, 2/Identify the reasons which lead us to interpret the behavior as disfavor “Do I have objective reasons to interpret the situation negatively?”, 3/ Analyze the situation rationally by looking for reasons that could explain the problem “Perhaps it was not voluntary on her part? Was she stressed, tired?” In this way, judgment loses its power and can be overcome more easily.
5. Interrupt obsessive thought cycles by distracting yourself : if it is difficult to establish a mental list, occupying your mind through a manual or physical activity can prove just as beneficial to distract the brain and avoid ruminating. A jog, a fit-boxing session, a cleaning session, a cinema, a painting workshop… Any break is good to take to reduce stress and let criticism disappear by itself.
6. Prioritize the importance we give to judgment depending on the person : the view of others does not have the same value depending on “the other”, precisely. In order to better distance yourself from the judgment of others, prioritizing the sources of criticism can also prove effective. Parents, brothers and sisters, friends, colleagues, managers, teachers, neighbors, subscribers… Depending on the person, the impact of criticism should therefore be much simpler to negotiate. Conclusion: never forget to relate the words to the person who says them, and decide whether or not it is important to you!
7. Ask questions of the people involved : in order to de-dramatize the situation, communication undeniably remains an essential key. If any discomfort or doubt arises, the simplest thing to do is to directly question the person concerned. Nothing better than a little honesty to clarify a relationship, especially if the person is close to us… The response, positive or negative, will ultimately allow us to turn the page and move on to something else.
8. Accept that you cannot please everyone : This is probably the most important advice. It is clear that unfortunately no one can reach unanimous agreement, tastes and colors being far too diverse (for the better otherwise). Mourning conformity then remains the best option for living lightly, without asking questions. Being yourself will never cost as much energy as trying to please the majority!
