This is an exceptional case but we have a daughter who has seen her father here for fifteen years. And it suits everyone. There had been a very conflictual separation between the parents, complaints filed… The mother, who had custody, screamed that they did not want to return her child when there was a two-minute delay at the end of the right of custody. visit, the grandfather tried to hit us with his cane, etc. Today, this girl has grown up but does not feel comfortable at her father’s house, where Mister’s new companion does not seem to accept her well. In short, coming here remains the best compromise. If we said stop, she wouldn’t have seen her father anymore. Most situations go well but sometimes it can be complicated; in September we had to call the police…
We imagine that the children you see are often grappling with intense conflicts of loyalty…
Yes, it’s recurring. There may be attempts to manipulate or exploit one of the parents. Some children may also have witnessed domestic violence. I particularly remember a young girl who shouted that she no longer wanted to see her father who was not right with her or with her mother. Until the day he was incarcerated for domestic violence (we also organize visiting rights in a remand center) and his daughter did everything to see him, considering the punishment inflicted on her father too harsh. She wanted to save him so much… She was only in emotions but became more thoughtful with time.
In such contexts, how can you act?
The first question is always: what is in the child’s best interests? Our job is also to try to teach them to live with the parents they have. A father or a mother cannot be erased with the stroke of an eraser. Normally, if a child is angry with his father, he goes to his room and scolds him. Here, it’s something else. The child must succeed in moving from anger to a certain indifference, because this is how he will be able to rebuild himself. If we only feel anger, how can we then succeed in being a parent ourselves? At Le Creuset, we have already welcomed children who we then saw again as parents…
