On the occasion of the world day against violence against women this Monday, November 25, France Bleu Gard Lozère was able to hear the words of a victim. Today aged around fortyLaurence suffered violence from her partner for more than 15 years. “Multiple violence, as she modestly puts it. I was under his influenceshe adds. I told myself that it was me who had the problem, because I had difficulty supporting this system of life. » Until the day this mother of three said stop: “I had a click”she explains. It was four years ago.
A difficult reception at the gendarmerie
This trigger is the one that will undoubtedly save his life: that of going to file a complaint at a gendarmerie in Gard. Except that Laurence is poorly received. “I was received by a gendarme who was puffing”she confides. The soldier said to him: “Okay, well… I’m still going to take your name”taking out a spiral notebook. “He was not at all receptiveregrets Laurence. Even less in empathy. He was even talking with a friend who accompanied me. » This attitude, in her, reinforces the feeling of loneliness. Even worse: “I told myself that I had no value, that I was not being heard and that it was of no use… So, I left. »
Two days later, Laurence finds the strength to return to the same gendarmerie. Again, not everything is ideal. “So, I was with professionals who showed discretion and empathyshe emphasizes, but they didn't let me tell my children that I was there. » The police then explain to her that she should not call them for her safety. “Your husband must not know that you are gendarmerie,” they told him. To which she responds: “But, I don’t understand, was it me who was at fault? » This return to the gendarmerie leaves him with a bitter taste, even four years later. ” As muchshe said, I had people in the same care who were very kind in questioning and filing complaints, although there were extremely complex things. »
Three trips to the police station
Unfortunately, this is not the last time that Laurence will see the police again. “Several months after giving my statement, I discovered that it had not been transmitted to the prosecution”she explains. The forty-year-old therefore returns to the gendarmerie, a third time. And this time, with his lawyer. Women are often unaware that they have this right. “In these moments, the presence of a lawyer should be automaticsuggests Laurence. When faced with a police officer or gendarme, a complainant is not always able to think and put into words what is happening to her.she points out. However, it is an essential step. Indeed, the better a victim describes what they are experiencing, the more likely they are that their complaint will result in a legal response.
This is what happened to Laurence. Her ex-partner was sentenced to 18 months in prisonaccompanied by a treatment order. He was also able to maintain a link with his three children, through a protection system. “He doesn’t see them muchspecifies Laurence. Very occasionally. But I stay in the exchange with him because he will forever remain the dad. It will be up to the children to decide what they do with this relationship. But it is not up to me to impose a course of action on them. For the rest, safety, I will always be there for them. »
Testify to law enforcement
Today, Laurence – who has started a professional reconversion – is rebuilding herself. She also plans, as she says, to “do something” of what she experienced. Perhaps testify in gendarmes or police stations, to improve the care of victims, when complaints are filed. “Yes, testify without judgingshe insists. Without blaming the justice system, the police or the gendarmerie. The subject is not there. The issue is there: if the experience I had can be of any use so that it does not happen again, my only mission is there. »
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