Isabelle Vitari, hello!
I'm really delighted to see you again today. I don't know if you remember me, we took part in a comedy festival together, the Saint-Gervais Mont-Blanc festival.
A festival that I won, and that you… well, you didn’t win.
So sorry, it's not at all elegant of me to say it. But don't worry, karma and life have taken care of calming me down: today, it's you who's sitting in the star's chair, and me in that of the jester who has to entertain the gallery. Something I can barely do, by the way.
Friends, today is a big day for me: I have resigned from the civil service!
Frankly, I hate the clichés about the civil service – “they don’t do anything”, blabla. But at the same time… if we always say the same things, maybe it's because sometimes it's true.
Be careful, not on the fact that they don't work, eh, they work. But there are situations in administration that are so absurd that Kafka himself could not have imagined them.
Yes, we laugh, but we still include Kafka in our column, because it's classy.
I'll explain to you: I asked human resources if it was easier to resign or request 5 years of availability – which is part of my rights.
It took them six months to respond to me. And I specify: the deadline is important.
“Because, sir, the time of availability is not the same as that of intermittency. »
Let me introduce you to Valérie, France Travail advisor – formerly Pôle Emploi. Yes, they change their name like their shirts. But basically… it's always the same shirts.
And so, my administration responded to me very late, to tell me that if I wanted availability, I would have to return to work in an administrative department for 18 months.
Do you think that after drinking my coffee with Nagui and Leïla at France Inter, I'm going to go back to work with Brigitte at the photocopier? Brigitte, who takes you out:
“Ah but you know, Julien, work is not my life. Besides, I volunteer in an association. »
So sorry, I respect eh, long live volunteering, it’s great. But people whose life plan is not to have one… Brigitte, I don’t give a damn.
I'm in show biz now. I know Nagui and Leïla. And maybe even a little more Leïla than Nagui.
Well, afterwards, I act smart, but knowing that I won't be attending meetings anymore will still do something to me.
What I won't miss, however, is the table tours.
We went very far with that. Even in internal meetings, where everyone knew each other, they always started with a round of discussion.
And it stressed me out. Three people before me, I had time to think, to panic…
I had all the symptoms of stress: racing heart, pasty mouth, beading forehead. Do you see? Anxiety attack.
And in those moments, I have two techniques for dealing with an anxiety attack. Either I jerk off or I use familiarity.
And that day, I chose to speak informally.
I said to myself: “But Julien… it’s not normal to put yourself in this state! You know what your name is, right? »
And it wasn't wrong.
The rest to listen to and discover on video…
