All parents know that children are real emotional sponges. They absorb everything they see and hear. They then often reproduce the behaviors of the adults around them.
A parental attitude that is harmful to children
Children are used to reproduce the attitudes of their parents. This means that every action or reaction, even unintentional, by adults can have a direct impact on their children.
In her book “For a Happy Childhood”, pediatrician Catherine Gueguen confided on the subject. She indicated: “When parents and adults around the child are respectful and empathetic, the child does the same”.
“Conversely, when these adults yell, hit and humiliate, the children also imitate them”she stressed. Thus, arguments or aggressive behavior of parents in front of children can be very harmful.
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Psychologist Rachida Raynaud, interviewed by Parents magazine, also added that parental arguments can be very disturbing for children. “This is unsafe”she said.
And to specify: “Because they have difficulty understanding why their parents put themselves in this emotional state, with changes in voice, face, unusual cries. It can be very disturbing to see them express this type of strong emotion”.
Because of these tensions, the child no longer feels safe in his bubble. If the dispute directly concerns his education, the impact on his well-being can be even more terrible.
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A family environment marked by frequent conflict can have significant repercussions on the child's emotional and psychological development. The psychologist specifies: “A conflictual family environment means that the child may not feel secure in your bond with your parents« .
And to declare: “This instability generates anxiety”. Through mimicry, the child also risks reproducing these conflicting patterns in his own interactions. He will also have difficulty managing his anger or expressing his emotions in a healthy way.
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On the other hand, know that it is not the anger itself that is problematic. Rather, it is how it is expressed and managed. The parents still know that it is impossible to never argue. Disagreements are part of life.
On the other hand, it is important to adopt practices that minimize the impact of conflicts on children. Even if you disagree, try to control your tone and gestures. A constructive argument shows that conflicts can be resolved without aggression.
If an argument takes place in front of a child, also show them that you are capable of reconciling. This reassures him about the stability of his parents. And teaches him that conflicts do not mean the end of family love.
You must also explain to your child what he saw, according to his age. Tell him that arguments are normal, but that they do not call into question the love within the family. Also avoid discussing delicate topics such as finances or personal problems in the presence of your children.
