Representatives of the association of families of missing soldiers and prisoners of war, present at Pope Francis’ general audience on Wednesday January 15, share their experiences and look back on their activities which help them move forward. Hoping to find their loved ones, they knock on every door, focusing on prayer.
Svitlana Dukhovych – Cité du Vatican
Two wings, one yellow and the other blue, appear on the logo of the association of families of Ukrainian soldiers of the Territorial Defense Forces missing, captured or killed during the large-scale war that has lasted for almost three years. “These wings are the symbol of our faith. Faith pushes us to act», Explains Maryna Bohush, president of the association. On January 15, five of them attended the Pope’s general audience, at the end of which Francis greeted them and exchanged a few words. In an interview with Vatican media, representatives of the association described their activities, while emphasizing the importance of mutual aid. They also shared their impressions of the meeting with the Sovereign Pontiff.
More than 500 families united by the need to support each other
Maryna decided to found the association in May 2022, after her brother-in-law disappeared at the front with eight other Ukrainian soldiers. “It was a heavy burden for the whole family“, she confides, “especially since Vitaliy is for me the personification of goodness and kindness. It is always very difficult for families who embark on the search for missing people to know how to proceed. For me it was probably easier, so I took this step“. The young woman created a group on Viber (an instant messaging application), which other families began to join. Today, the association has 545 families.
A “huge” job
Their main mission is the search for missing soldiers and prisoners of war. “The problem we face is that there is no confirmation of captivity», explains Maryna. Every day, she continues, “all women who are looking for a loved one open the Telegram channel where Russians post photos of killed and taken prisoner Ukrainian soldiers. We look at them in the hope of identifying the soldiers. But even when we find them in captivity, it is very difficult to report it officially, because it is not enough for the Red Cross just to have photos or videos. It is also a huge job to find data to confirm that it is indeed this person».
Also among the activities of the association of families of missing, captured or killed soldiers of the Territorial Defense Forces are the approval of various lists presented to government agencies, support for the families of fallen soldiers, support for soldiers still serving on the front and those who have returned from there and in need of rehabilitation, as well as organizing demonstrations to demand the release of prisoners. Some people, notes the head of the association, may not understand the effectiveness of these demonstrations, but it is the only way to be the voice of the prisoners.
We knock on all doors
For each of the five women interviewed, the association became a source of inspiration to act. Olena Skytiuk’s son died in September 2023 and she joined the association almost immediately afterwards. “We don’t have time to waitsouligne Olena, we must act, do something. We do everything we can to find at least one thread, at least something that can give us news of our loved ones. We knock on every door, because we are their voice, their hands, their feet. We must fight for them here, as they fought for us there».
Iryna Maryshkina is the wife of a comrade-in-arms of Olena Skytyuk’s son. He disappeared in early October 2023, a week after Olena’s son disappeared. “I came to Rome with my two childrenexplains the woman, because their father disappeared. They are the ones who give me strength and motivate me to act, because I am not sure I will be able to find my husband, but in any case I will be able to tell my children with certainty that I did everything I could».
-Beyond despair
«After learning of my son’s disappearance, I felt devastated, alone, and didn’t know what to do.“. Olena Prokopenko describes her personal drama, so similar to that of other women, in which she found a way to start again from scratch. My son, she said,had turned 20 at the beginning of February 2022 and on February 24, war broke out. He fought for almost a year, but just before his 21st birthday, he disappeared. I was totally desperate and this despair destroyed me. I withdrew into myself and for about six months I just tried to do something to get through the pain. Every evening and morning, I began by praying for my missing son. When I realized maybe I wasn’t alone -car in the country, unfortunately, many families are in the same situation as me – I decided to look for a women’s association to which I could contact. And I found it. This association has become like a second family for me“. Almost two years have passed, but Olena, unfortunately, still has no information about her son. For the moment, he only has the status of a missing person. “But I have hopeshe assures, and it is with this hope that I try to knock on any door because, they say, “knock and it will be opened to you“. I hope he comes back».
“Who else but me?”
After the Russian invasion of Ukraine in 2022, the territorial defense forces were joined by many civilians. Iryna Taranova’s son also went to the front in the first days of the war, “despite a good job and good opportunities ». «He said this: “Who else but me?” -says Iryna- and in fact, all our soldiers who went to war in the early days said: “Who but me?”“. The mother remembers the exact date, hour and minute the connection was lost from the position where her son was fighting: it was December 7, 2022, at 6:10 a.m. “Fifteen boys went missing that day. Two years and a month have passed and we have no specific information on any of them. But we never stop, we help everyone, we unite and we wait».
Constantly waiting and not knowing what is happening to a loved one is excruciating pain. What to do with this pain? “We never knowdit Iryna, why these trials are imposed on us. I don’t know if this is a test for me or for my child. But the most terrible trials can also become a space for human development, because after losing your loved one and not knowing where they are, there is no longer anything that can scare you: you will do everything to find him».
The power of prayer
Last Wednesday, January 15, the five Ukrainian women were seated in the front row in the Paul VI room during Pope Francis’ general audience. At the end of the audience, they had a brief meeting with the Holy Father. Explaining what prompted the difficult journey to Rome and the Vatican, Maryna Bohush showed their association’s logo, printed on their T-shirts, which represents two wings, one blue and the other yellow, the colors of the Ukrainian flag. These wings, she said, “are a symbol of our faith, and faith inspires action. This is why we decided to go to the Vatican, to a sacred place, to strengthen our prayers».
