“Civilians abstain”, specifies Ekaterina, a forty-something from the Nizhni-Novgorod region, in her presentation sheet on a Russian dating site. She is ideally looking for a soldier, preferably an officer, but at worst she could console herself with a police officer or another agent of the (very numerous) Russian security forces. Because these men have a “special aura”, she admits in the online magazine Moskvitch (“Muscovite”). And perhaps also because they remind him of his father, a career soldier. “For me, they are like family. I have always been attracted to men in uniform,” she confides.
As noted Moskvitchthe number of online communities specializing in military dating has “increased dramatically” since 2022. “In general, these communities are no different from dating sites, with one exception: the male half is in the zone of the special military operation,” continues the magazine, which cautiously uses the official term for the war in Ukraine.
“They see us as cash cows”
According to her survey, the attraction to the military affects women of all ages, from all regions and cities of the country. And their preference goes especially to those who are on the front in Ukraine because, according to a certain Svetlana, it is “there, during the battles, let men reveal themselves as they are”. “The masks fall”, she continues.
This may not be the only reason. In another investigation, the Russian-language service of Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty (RFE/RL) also gives a voice to the military. And some complain that they are regularly harassed on these dating sites and groups by young women who ask them for money, loans, or even offer them paid sexual services. “They see us as cash cows”, one of them complains. It is true that, for almost three years now, Russian civil and military authorities have continued to advertise the increasingly generous remuneration offered to those we call the kontraktnikithe military under contract.
“As reliable as a Kalashnikov”
In August, recalls the online newspaper Mediazona, the Ministry of Defense doubled the lump sum upon signing the contract, which rose to 400,000 rubles (nearly 3,600 euros). Added to this is also the “bonus” given by local authorities, which can reach 800,000 rubles in certain regions (500,000 in Moscow). Monthly balances now vary between 200,000 and 300,000 rubles, which is significantly higher than the average salary.
It is also not uncommon for some of these courted men to behave like real cads with women, the investigation also tells us. RFE/RL. Many women admit to having discovered that their “special military operation fiancé” maintained several parallel relationships. And often had his wife and children waiting for him at home. “He turned out to be a womanizer and a drunk,” Vassilissa testifies, disappointed, speaking of the man who promised her wonders during her leave. Also the daughter of a soldier, Vassilissa nevertheless continued to frequent specialized sites to end up finding the perfect love: a marine infantry commando. Quite the opposite of the previous one. “It is as reliable as a Kalashnikov”, she said of the new chosen one of her heart.
