On June 30 and July 7, the French are called to the polls to elect the deputies who will represent them in the National Assembly, freshly dissolved by Emmanuel Macron. While France is at a turning point in its history, with the threat of the far right at the gates of power, certain conversations can particularly strain the relationships we have with those around us. Survival guide.
In an article published on June 25, 2024, the British edition of the magazine Grazia provides advice on how best to navigate the heated conversations that punctuate our daily lives in these times of political instability. “It used to be common for two people in a marriage to vote differently; today, we even find it difficult to put our friendships above political divisions” notes the magazine.
Indeed, there are those people whom we love deeply and with whom we have shared many things for a long time, but with whom we know that if we met them for the first time today, we would perhaps not become not friends. Either because we grew up in too different directions, or because our opinions today diverge too much. Societal crises, like the one we are experiencing today, have the unfortunate tendency to reveal these divisions, and sometimes to widen the gaps that were already visible. But, sometimes, we don’t want to say goodbye to that college friend, with whom we had a long time, or that cousin who was particularly present during our breakup. So, how can we manage conversations healthily without them turning into dead ends, or worse, confusion?
No discussion is perfect
The first step to a healthy conversation is accepting that it probably won’t be perfect. If you are the type to think back 10 years later, in the shower, on this argument that you should have formulated better, be kind to yourself. As recalled Graziaif you leave saying to yourself “I haven’t changed my mind, but I now understand another point of view”that’s already a great success in itself.
A conversation is not a sports match
The idea is not to count points, but to show curiosity. Instead of shouting an idea or talking over the other person, let them express themselves. When it’s your turn, question him, and get him to understand your point of view or to trace his own (sometimes to deconstruct it educationally): “What do you mean by that? » or “How did you come to this thought?” “. If he won’t let you talk, or refuses to listen to you, politely say that you took the time to listen to him and would therefore like him to listen in turn.
Never raise your voice
This is the basis of nonviolent communication. Needless to say, when we want to be listened to, there is no point in yelling at others, even when they annoy us. It’s not for nothing that some teachers lower their voices in class to force their students to pay attention…
Listen twice as much as you speak
As the British magazine keeps reminding us, the key to a constructive conversation is listening to others. This involves not looking at your phone, remaining focused, maintaining eye contact, and using verbal affirmations such as “I see” or “I understand” to signal to the other person that they are engaged in the discussion. “In times of conflict, listening is both your armor and your weapon, because it helps you identify the real problem and resolve it”estimates the magazine.
Facts will always carry more weight than emotions
Facts, facts, facts. We remain calm, we breathe, we cite our sources, and figures if we have them available. There is no point playing into the hands of those whose sole objective is to provoke!
