When she was a child, Cassandra would run around the block “to keep in line,” her mother ordered her. She describes the young girl she was as “a little rounder than the others, that’s all”. At home, he is forbidden from snacking and imposes a strict diet on him. “My mother deprived me a lot because of her obesity proposal,” she remembers, “when I cut ties with her, when I came of age, I took advantage of it. I went from being a “slightly chubby” young woman to being an “obese” young woman in a very short time.”
Far from her family, Cassandra quickly expressed the wish to start her own family. When she became pregnant at 21, she weighed 109 kilos and was 1m62 tall. A pregnancy that will quickly confront her with the eyes of others and the comments of health professionals.
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“Every anomaly was justified by the fact that I was obese”
From the first weeks of her pregnancy, Cassandra was the subject of extremely hurtful remarks about her body. “I didn’t yet have complete confidence in myself and I found myself faced with a mountain of thoughts that I hadn’t anticipated,” says the young woman, now 29 years old. She remembers this ultrasound during the first trimester: “The gynecologist was very careful. She was pressing on my stomach with such force that it hurt. When I asked her about it, she curtly replied that she couldn’t see anything because of the layer of fat. I gritted my teeth and couldn’t touch my stomach for several days because of the pain.”
The meetings follow one another, and Cassandra gradually understands that her weight is disturbing. “I was told that I should definitely not use cream before an ultrasound because, being already “strong”, it was better to avoid adding a fatty mass. » Very quickly, his weight is scrutinized. At the slightest pain, health professionals blame his obesity. “Every tiny anomaly was justified by the simple fact that I was obese,” she laments. “Only my midwife listened, she explained to me that despite the risk factor represented by an overweight pregnancy, all women could be confronted with the same inconveniences during these nine months. » Conversely, health professionals are surprised that Cassandra does not suffer from gestational diabetes: “On several occasions, the gynecologists told me that my results did not correspond to those of “an obese woman” and told me asked to perform the test a second time. In the collective imagination, fat women rhyme with diabetes. »
Invisibilization
Outside of medical appointments, Cassandra must come to terms with the way society looks at her. Her pregnancy was announced very early, at just two months, due to her already very marked stomach. “On several occasions, I was asked if I was expecting two children,” she laughs today. In scenes of daily life such as in the supermarket, Cassandra feels a form of hesitation as her body evolves: “People were embarrassed to ask me if I was pregnant to let me pass in front of them, they clearly did not know how to differentiate the belly of a “just fat” woman from the belly of a “fat and pregnant” woman. »
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A situation that Cassandra explains by a lack of representation on social networks and in the media. “The belly of a pregnant and obese woman is not completely round,” she insists. “When I was pregnant with my first child, I had no role models and that really disturbed me.” A non-existent representation which pushes her to talk about her pregnancy on social networks.
On Instagram, the young woman is confronted with comments that are as vile as they are kind. “A lot of users said my belly was ‘just big’ and that I wasn’t actually pregnant,” she recalls, “but I was also able to give advice and chat with many women who were not considering motherhood because of their overweight. »
Despite a pregnancy that was far from easy, Cassandra and her partner, a couple for eight years, decided to expand the family a few years later. They will welcome a second son then… twins. “I reached 142 kilos during this pregnancy,” confides the mother. “This time, I was asked if there weren’t three! “. A last pregnancy experienced with much more perspective: “I was more informed, but also more prepared to receive comments. During my second pregnancy, I also met a caring and attentive gynecologist, which made a significant difference. “. “Today, I am proud of what my body was able to achieve,” concludes Cassandra.
