A new year means new goals – but sometimes the key to success isn’t what you do, but what you don’t do. At least that is the opinion of Rolf Dobelli, who has examined in many of his books how to get through life well.
Rolf Dobelli
Bestselling author
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Rolf Dobelli, born in Lucerne in 1966, studied economics and received his doctorate in philosophy at the University of St. Gallen. He then worked as a manager and entrepreneur, including for Swissair. He is the founder of WORLD.MINDS, an international community with minds from science, business and geopolitics. Dobelli writes novels and non-fiction books, including the bestsellers “The Art of Clear Thinking”, “The Art of Smart Action” as well as “The Art of the Good Life”, “The Art of Digital Living”. In 2024
His book “The Not-To-Do List: 52 Ways to Avoid the Biggest Mistakes in Life” was published. Rolf Dobelli is married to the bestselling author Clara Maria Bagus. They live with their sons in Bern.
In his latest work, “The Not-To-Do List,” he goes one step further and names behaviors that should be avoided. For the new year, here are five things he thinks can’t be missing from this list.
1. Avoid social media
Social media is the perfect machine to fuel envy. Since, for the most part, only the most advantageous images and videos are shared, you’re bound to feel inadequate while scrolling. At the same time, they rob us of our attention: our brains become distracted, concentration declines, and productivity noticeably declines. Rolf Dobelli believes that social media should have a permanent place on your “not-to-do list” for 2025.
2. Don’t be unreliable
People can go far, even without exceptionally high IQs or creativity – as long as they are reliable. Reliability is often considered the most underestimated key to success. However, it is perhaps the most important factor. Intellectual brilliance or creativity alone does not protect against failure, while reliability provides a stable foundation. Anyone who is reliable has a secure footing and cannot fail so easily.
3. Don’t set unrealistic goals
The goal of remaining attractive into old age or living forever is hopeless – no matter how many vitamins you take. The pursuit of constant happiness or fame is also unrealistic. Instead, ask yourself: What kind of person do I want to become this year?
«We don’t know exactly what makes us happy. “That’s why it’s easier to avoid the things that are guaranteed to make you unhappy,” Dobelli is convinced.
Rolf Dobelli / Colourbox
4. Don’t always say yes to everything
Giving other people time, being there for them and helping are admirable actions. They enrich our lives and give them meaning – but only up to a certain point. This point is reached when you realize that you are losing yourself in the process.
For each request, take a maximum of five seconds to decide and answer “No” as standard.
Dobelli’s tip: Practice the “five-second no.” For each request, give yourself a maximum of five seconds to decide and default to “no” unless the request is clearly important. Avoid phrases like “I’m thinking about it” or “Maybe” when you actually want to say “No.”
5. Don’t try to change people
The personality of others cannot be changed – neither through motivation nor pressure. Avoid situations in which you try to change others. It’s often better to distance yourself from people you don’t get along with.
Anyone who marries with the aim of changing their partner is choosing the path to unhappiness. In an existing relationship, there are three options: accept your partner’s quirks, change yourself, or consider breaking up.
The conclusion
Create your personal “not-to-do list” for 2025. Instead of constantly looking for what will make you healthy, focus on avoiding unhealthy habits. Instead of fixating on getting rich, avoid foreseeable losses. Instead of analyzing what makes relationships successful, pay attention to what can cause them to fail.
And finally: Instead of chasing happiness, eliminate everything that blocks your path there. Happy New Year!
