After #cottagecore, #softcore and #tenniscore, the #hopecore trend is all the rage on TikTok. This movement exalts the beauty of life and emphasizes the importance of enjoying it to the fullest. Tempting, right? But how can we cultivate optimism without falling into toxic positivity or turning a blind eye to the suffering in the world?
« Life is good. Life is beautiful. Relax, keep going. Lovely things will come.» You have probably already seen motivating quotes or inspiring videos on Instagram, Facebook or YouTube. But since last year, these messages have also become a real phenomenon on TikTok. They even have a name: #hopecore. These scrapbook-style videos, embellished with quotes, illustrations, screenshots and interview excerpts, advocate positivity and joy, in response to the monotony and numerous crises tearing the world apart.
Even though I am rather optimistic by nature, I admit to being a little perplexed by these messages. Can a positive phrase make life more beautiful in the blink of an eye? For psychologist Séverine Van De Voorde, this movement is encouraging. “Humans instinctively obey a negativity bias, because from an evolutionary point of view, detecting every danger increased our chances of survival,” she explains. “Our brains are therefore programmed to pay more attention to the negative. In a world saturated with misfortune, this bias takes
all the more space, and phenomena like #hopecore represent an appreciable counterweight. »
Griet van Vaerenbergh, professor of positive psychology at Thomas More University, shares this opinion, but wants to qualify. “An optimistic mindset has many benefits, especially for people who are already feeling relatively good. For those struggling with issues like depression, these simplistic messages should be approached with caution, especially on TikTok, as they can be a little too simplistic. »
Toxic positivity?
It’s the superficial side of #hopecore videos that bothers me. Isn’t life sometimes complicated? We could almost feel guilty for not always seeing the glass half full. So, when do good vibes on social media turn into toxicity? “Positivism becomes toxic when it is systematically used to deny pain or emotions
unpleasant,” specifies Griet Van Vaerenbergh. “When we confide to a friend the difficulties we are going through with our sister, for example, and they tell us that we must love our family, that leaves no room for real emotions. Studies show that this toxic positivity can be harmful because it makes it difficult to cope with difficulties and sadness. However, everyone goes through complicated times. To live is to accept the existence of these periods. »
Worse still, repressing these unpleasant emotions or numbing them with, for example, alcohol or toxic messages runs the risk of dulling our ability to savor the good times. “We cannot anesthetize our emotions selectively,” summarizes Séverine Van De Voorde. “If we push away the pain, we will enjoy the good times less. »
In her book “Toxic Positivity,” Whitney Goodman states: “Healthy positivity leaves room for reality and hope. Toxic positivity, on the other hand, denies an emotion and forces us to repress it. » To avoid this, it is therefore crucial that we let our emotions come, whether pleasant or not. “Once we have identified an unpleasant situation, we can indeed give it a positive spin, but this is not the same as ignoring it altogether,” emphasizes Griet Van Vaerenbergh. “We must show kindness and curiosity towards what is happening within us. We must accept the confrontation with our thoughts and feelings, without dwelling on their origin. We can simply sit back for a moment and look forward to the future. If a date fails us, for example, we could sink into pessimism and fall into self-deprecation. Or, we can say to ourselves: “I have two hours to spare, I’m going to take advantage of them to finally start this book that has been waiting for me for months.” »
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The ideal is to navigate harmoniously between joy and pain, a balance that psychologists call “emotional flexibility.” Reaching this state and learning to view hardships in a positive way cannot be learned by watching videos on TikTok. To truly train an optimistic mentality, it is essential to use your attentional filter. “What we focus on develops,” explains Séverine Van De Voorde. “If you’re going to buy a car, you’ll see them everywhere. In the same way, if we always focus on the positive, the positive aspects of life will eventually emerge more. Happy people don’t necessarily have more positive experiences, but they keep pleasant memories flowing by reminding themselves of them regularly. »
To achieve this, Séverine Van De Voorde offers a whole series of exercises. For example, you can collect compliments received in a “pride book”. Another strategy is to keep a gratitude journal, where you record three bright moments each evening. “Let us also note the role we played in these moments,” adds Griet Van Vaerenbergh. “For example: I saw a beautiful sunset and I took the trouble to go outside to watch it. It allows you to understand that you can create positive experiences yourself. »
For more than a year, I myself have kept such a diary in which I note the small victories gleaned throughout the day. Even gray days take on a brighter hue in the evening, because there is always a comforting detail to note, like a walk among the raindrops or a caress given to a cat in the street. But I am aware of my privilege. As I write down my moments of gratitude, I see videos flashing by of bombings in Gaza or melting glaciers. More than ever, I feel this contrast: do I really have the right to enjoy a good coffee in this unfair world? ” Yes. It’s more of an “and” than an “or”,” says Griet Van Vaerenbergh. “We can say it’s painful without turning a blind eye to what’s going well elsewhere. If we focus only on disasters, we risk feeling helpless or overwhelmed by empathic distress that could paralyze us.
Being optimistic doesn’t mean waiting for everything to work out. On the contrary, positivity helps you act, because it allows you to continue to see the opportunities that present themselves. »
