This expat, who resembles those business women you might encounter in the Brussels metro, tells us about her rather “ordinary” journey. Unlike other friends, she has no dark history, no drama that pushed her towards the bottle. Her story is “all the more frightening”, she believes. Because it shows that this evil that ate away at her could interfere in anyone’s life.
“My ordeal began on a Saturday afternoon in front of my son”: at the heart of an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting
“I was congratulated for knowing how to drink like that”
It all starts with village festivals. The young woman appreciates them. But in these places, alcohol flows freely. Everyone raises their elbows. She doesn’t think and does the same. In addition, she realizes that, casually, drinking helps in society. “I was very introverted. In the end, I was happy to hold the alcohol well. I was even congratulated for being able to drink like that even though I was a woman. Some told me that I was no longer part of all the same when I was drunk. The calm and serious girl turned into a big party girl! As time passes, Adeline specializes in the art of drinking. And the studies, which she partly does abroad, don’t help. “We know how things are. Especially in big schools with student parties. Alcohol consumption is normalized, it’s a way of integrating. It only reinforced my idea of having to drink to have fun.”
Once she received her diploma, it didn’t take long for the young woman to find work. New life, new habits. But there is one who does not leave her side. She continues to have evenings and drinks. “I was still in the same state of mind. I realized that it didn’t fit with the world of work.” But nothing works. She continues on her path.
“Alcohol consumption is normalized, sometimes even in the workplace”
Bottles in the bag, red patches on the body
“I lost control,” she admits, without being able to escape this infernal spiral. Seeing friends or family without drinking first becomes impossible. She hides bottles in her things, always brings more to drink to the dinners to which she is invited. “I no longer recognized myself, I was doing things that surprised me,” she continues. And his body is starting to no longer keep up. “The impact on my health was impressive. I was often sick, I had redness and patches on my body that never went away.” His relationship is struggling. She feels something is wrong. Then comes the click. “I remember, it was during the end-of-year holidays. Even after drinking all evening, even after being sick, I started drinking again early in the morning,” says Adeline. “In January, I looked at myself in the mirror. I said ‘I quit’.”
-It was only from this moment that she dared to talk to her family about her problem. Ultimately, she always knew how to save face. Those close to her were therefore far from imagining that she had reached this point. “It did me good to talk about it freely. It changed a lot of things. There was a lot of awareness among those around me. I didn’t expect it.” In no case does she impose abstinence on those close to her. She doesn’t try to convince them of the dangers of this addiction that brought her down. On their own, they adapt their consumption.
“You don’t have to be an alcoholic to have a drinking problem.”
The “AA”: tears, meetings, the start of a new life
As for Adeline, this is only the beginning of a long process. To put all the chances on her side, she goes to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. “I was surprised by the welcome. It was very warm. I cried a lot, but at no time did I feel judged,” she reports, with real gratitude in her voice. “The testimonies helped me a lot. It was impressive to hear. And the diversity of the backgrounds was a real enrichment.” To avoid falling back into her old ways, the thirty-year-old avoids bars, concerts and other festive events during the first months. But, very quickly, she manages to resume a “normal” life. Today she is able to sit in a café, order a tea and watch a friend drink a beer. “However, I feel that my relationships with people have changed. They are healthier. When I see friends, it’s to have real discussions. Before, it was mostly an excuse to drink in noisy places.”
Two years have passed since his last drink. And she continues to go regularly to the “AA” meetings, which she still enjoys as much. His only regret? Not meeting more young women there. “Women’s alcoholism is different, more hidden. Women are perhaps better at pretending everything is fine. Yet they suffer from the same ills as men.”
Like the other “AAs,” Adeline takes each day at a time. For her, it is not a life of abstinence that awaits her, but 24 hours. “It’s too depressing to think otherwise,” she confides. “We’ll take care of today. Tomorrow, we’ll see.”
