Forced to put an end to it in the middle of the Covid period, the former winger of Stade Toulousain and the XV of France recounts his career, sporting and extra-sporting, in “I didn't say goodbye to you”, which comes out this Wednesday in library.
“When you receive the letter from the Stadium accountant announcing your balance on all accounts…”
“I didn't know about the little death of a high-level athlete right away. That season, Stade Toulousain won the European Cup-Top 14 double. An exceptional moment for the club, in which I participated in my own way. But June 30 arrives. And then it really stops… I take out all the files. I am no longer listed as a rugby player. That's a little death. When you receive the letter from the Stadium accountant telling you your balance on all accounts, that does something. I didn't know about this procedure, and it surprises me. You also get out of all WhatsApp groups. That of the club, that of the players, that of the executives. Your email address, in the name of Stade Toulousain, is deleted. You are erased… At first, it's really hard to live with. I remember that moment when I had to give them back my cell phone so they could see if you still had contact with the group. I had very close, daily relationships with everyone at the Stadium, the teammates, the medical staff, the administrative staff. And, suddenly, I lose all these relationships, all this life disappears on June 30. It's violent. You were chatting with the guys on the group and, suddenly, ciao! It's like a breakup.
“For nothing in the world, I would not have refused a selection for the French team”
“We are the generation that experienced encouraging defeats. It was difficult to live with. (…) During all these years, I went to the French team telling myself that we were not going to win, that things were going to go badly again. Some players also completely refused to come to the selection. They did not feel invested in the French team's project. When you are always a substitute, or never on the match sheet… Some guys said to themselves that, given the results, they preferred to stay at home. But there was no judgment on our part. If they didn't want to come, it was actually better that they didn't come. Some, as soon as there is a little competition, prefer to give up. I always liked wearing this French team jersey, so I never asked myself that question. For nothing in the world, I would not have refused a selection for the France team.
LIONEL BONAVENTURE / AFP
“There are matches where I had black holes”
“At the beginning, we laughed about concussions. “Ah, you too, you were knocked out…” I remember a match between New Zealand and France during a tour, in June 2013. Opposite, there was René Ranger. On a percussion, I try to tackle him and I knock myself out. I take a big knockout. The doctor comes to see me on the ground and says to me: “You have to stay, we can't make any more changes…” So I stay and, behind, I take two or three candles on my head. I was then in a room with Wesley Fofana. He confided to me later: “You were so far west! When I saw your eyes…! »There were matches where I had black holes. But, with the evolution of knowledge, I have been more careful. You understand that it’s your health and your post-career that are at stake.”
-Also read
XV of France: “Its action is astonishing”, Vincent Clerc and Yoann Huget scrutinize Louis Bielle-Biarrey
“We didn’t think much of Ugo Mola at the beginning, I admit”
“In 2015, Guy (Novès) leaves, Ugo (Mola) arrives at the head of a pro-Guy group. Because, let's not lie, we were all pro-Novès. At first, Ugo was upset. If it's not Toulouse, I even think he could have been dismissed. It remains in place even though this is the first year where we have not qualified for the Top 6, the final phase of the championship. But it is also the strength of Stade Toulousain to be patient. (…) It was very hard, I admit. No one gave Ugo any gifts. His legitimacy, his credibility were called into question. When you're used to working for twenty years with a method, a formula, which has proven itself, and him, a young coach arriving from Albi… He wasn't the coach we were expecting. We didn't think much of him at first, I admit. But Ugo was smart. It didn't make waves despite the pitfalls. But he has not forgotten this period. When you talk to him about it, it's always a little raw. He suffered through it for two years. And two years is a long time.”
Hugo Sport
