“There is among many a desire for order, a desire for everyone to fall into line, and that terrifies me”

“In my town of 6,000 inhabitants, the candidate of the National Rally [RN] came out on top in the first round, with 45% of the vote. I tell myself that there must be RN voters in my street, very close to my home. I think about it all the time. It creates a form of curiosity and suspicion that I try to fight against. I talk very freely about my vote for the New Popular Front and my left-wing convictions to the people I meet at the bakery or in the street, but they don’t answer me. There’s a kind of awkward silence, a malaise. I don’t try to find out who people voted for. It’s better not to get angry with your neighbor! Well, in my close circle, I know that no one voted RN. I’m selective about ideology.

I have such a hard time understanding how anyone can let themselves be convinced by this party and want to put Jordan Bardella and his uninhibited speech in power. It is not a question for me to blame people for their vote. They certainly have their reasons. They felt ignored, abandoned, denied or not respected. I’m angry, but it goes away on its own because, deep down, I feel powerless in the face of all this. On the other hand, I still blame the representatives of the RN, who are selling hot air. And I blame Macron.

I never watch television, except for election nights, because I need to see faces. So, I was in my living room with my partner, and there, the announcement of the dissolution: we fell into total shock. I even told myself that he was knowingly handing us over to the RN. It sounds a bit conspiratorial to say that, but it is such madness.

Sunday evening, for the results of the first round, France 2 displayed a countdown. When I saw the results, I said to myself: “OK here we go.” I still have a slim hope that the RN will not obtain an absolute majority, but perhaps that is just denial. I keep telling myself that people will wake up, that it’s unreal. On the radio – I listen to France Culture and France Inter, even though they despair me when they talk about the New Popular Front as the far left – I hear about a membership vote for the RN. How can anyone buy into what I consider to be such blatant lies? Have we all become so ignorant?

“Association life will suffer”

I am not dejected, except when faced with the discourse that we could do nothing to resist. I am convinced that we can still do a lot. Even if I feel powerless, I want to believe that it will be possible to fight. I have always been committed and an activist. As I get older, I am even more so. I raised my two daughters alone, so it was necessary to get to the essentials. Today, they are adults. One lives in Nantes and often goes to demonstrations. When I play out the disaster scenario in my head, I imagine that future demonstrations will all be violently repressed and I am afraid for her.

You have 34.45% of this article left to read. The rest is reserved for subscribers.