– Do you have anything to declare, sir?
– Yes, are you going to annex us?
The American customs officer at the Lacolle border crossing doesn't seem to understand my joke or he just doesn't find it funny. He just limply hands me my passport.
– Have a good day, sir.
Here I am in New York State, on my way to Plattsburgh. The last time I set foot there, I must have been ten years old. At the time, we would occasionally go to the beaches, crammed into the family Lada. At the time, the minimum wage was $4.75, the Simards had just left Turn the pageRobert Bourassa was the Prime Minister of Quebec and Brian Mulroney was preparing to become that of Canada.
A few months before the return of the Conservatives to the House of Commons (I'm a soothsayer), here I am passing through Clinton County. Not for the beach or shopping at Target, but rather to survey our neighbors to the South on the topic of the day (from the same with the degree of popularity of the participants of Big Brother Celebrities): the annexation of Canada by the United States.
Donald Trump may be a troll, but he's brought it back a couple of times – with the purchase of Greenland and the takeover of the Panama Canal as a bonus – so much so that people here are starting to gorge themselves on citalopram to combat their anxiety.
A resigning Justin Trudeau may declare in an interview that this rumor of 51e State propagated by the Republican president-elect is only a diversion to increase the pressure with his threat to impose tariffs of 25% on imports from Canada (and Mexico), a few days before his return to office , we have to admit that no one is reassured.
The most beautiful Prime Minister in the history of Canada may insist that this will never happen and that Canadians are too proud to live in "the most beautiful country in the world", the last few years have taught us that absolutely ALL possible in this world.
The majority CAQ, the re-election of Trump, the You-My showthe pandemic curfew, the girl from UQAM in Antarctica, the lines that are still getting longer at the Avenue restaurant: life has become a roller coaster surprises that we barely have time to digest.
Hence my idea of going and asking the Americans what they think of this proposal. Do they find the idea so crazy?
Time to bellow "'MURICA, FUCK YEAH" and I roll towards Plattsburgh, armed with my best English.
Before you throw tomatoes at me, know that I am aware that my probing takes place in “ blue states », or Democratic strongholds. It's not my fault that URBANIA can't afford to send me to Texas (gun sound in the air), Alabama or Mississippi.
I park directly next to Plattsburgh City Hall. Across the street, the Macdonough Monument – erected in honor of an old battle – stands in front of the Saranac River.
A sign that Canada is already somewhat part of StatesI hit 98.5 FM to my destination. I cut the engine on a segment that clashes between Marie-Ève Tremblay and Christian Page on aliens. As long as the sports guy doesn't question the moon landing, everything is fine.
Family arguments
In Plattsburgh, they're freezing. A homeless man pulls up his blanket in front of town hall. I hang a first lady on the sidewalk. “I feel bad for Justin Trudeau and I’m afraid for Canada. I know you will resist and I think Doug Ford is effective. It takes a bully to respond to a bully ", says this woman from Boston, who wishes to remain anonymous. She does not hesitate to openly describe her new president as "an idiot", like several people we met here.
“We don’t understand what happened (in the last presidential elections)… we have arguments within our own families with pro-Trump members. This is a big setback for the LGBTQ+ communities,” adds the lady, concerned.
The favorite city of Quebecers on vacation is more trash than in my memories. Even though cannabis is not legally sold (except for medical purposes), pot accessories shops rub shoulders on the almost deserted commercial streets on this wintery Monday.
I enter one of these businesses to chat with Jankin, the only employee there, in front of a display of bongs. He's the only one who is against the idea of annexing Canada. “I think that would be great!” You have a great culture, the same goes for architecture and we can learn French! », Enthuses Jankin. His joy is such that I dare not tell him that no one outside La Belle Province (and some Montrealers born and raised) doesn't bother learning the language of Molière.
“But I don’t know what we could do for you.” We struggle a lot these days. Poverty is increasing…”, the employee almost apologizes, emphasizing that at least Trump risks stimulating the economy.
“I think he’s having fun with you.”
A little further on Oak Street, a blue-collar worker picks up trash on the sidewalk. A sign that we are in a small town, the guy chats with everything that moves around him. He bursts out laughing when he learned of my journalistic mission. Like many, he does not take Trump's annexation fantasies seriously. “I think he's playing with you to exert pressure with customs taxes. On the other hand, he is surely more serious with Greenland and the Panama Canal…”, believes Mark, convinced that he will not see the two neighboring countries form a major estige in his lifetime.
“It would be a bad idea for him too, since it would be another Democratic state,” adds Mark.
If almost all of the people we meet have nothing but compliments to offer us, Mark thinks we could do better. “A lot of people think Canadians aren't super nice to us. Let them just come and save money in our stores. »
On this, I admit to being surprised. I thought that Canadian tourists were the best ambassadors in the world, except those who go to all-inclusives.
I search in vain for Quebec plates in the parking lot of the Champlain Centrea place apparently frequented by many Canadians. In fact, people whisper in my ear that many Quebecers have, in recent months, done their grocery shopping there to save money. cash.
In the shadow of a Target, Nancy notices that since the pandemic, Canadians have deserted the state, which is hurting their economy. This Vermont native also rails against her compatriots who signed a new lease with Trump at the White House. “It’s like a bad joke. He has mental health issues and I don’t believe anything that comes out of his mouth,” sighs Nancy, who shrugs about this annexation story.
“If at least Canada was in Mexico, we would all go and live there. »
Back at my car, I pass Matt walking his dog. “The return of Trump will not change much in the daily life of the average American. Things are already very bad. My generation can’t afford a house,” laments Matt, citing as an example a very real reality on both sides of the border.
“Canada is doing well without us”
On the King Street platform, I wait for the ferry to arrive which will give me a lift to Vermont. Powdery snow is whipping my Kia Rondo, the heater is running at full blast. Lake Champlain is choppy and the boat rocks quite a bit during the fifteen minutes of the crossing.
Once I arrive on the other side, I head towards Burlington via route 189. I tune into a local radio station and turn up the volume as I hear the first notes of Hells Bells.
First, a stop at the university, just to survey the youth about this story of annexation.
On site, I understand why we have to sell a kidney to pursue higher education in the States. The University of Vermont – one of the oldest in the country – has a little Hogwarts feel, with its Victorian architecture buildings, lounges and sofas scattered everywhere, pool tables and even huge fireplaces lit on each floor.
Maria is lost in thought when I appear before her. The nursing student heard Trump's statements about us like everyone else. “I found it ridiculous and it didn’t make any sense. Canada is doing very well without us,” underlines Maria, who is more concerned about the impact of the Republican leader’s retrograde ideas on marginalized communities. “My girlfriend is transgender, so I take a very dim view of all this. I am also afraid that his election will damage relations between our two countries,” summarizes Maria, who regularly travels to Montreal for the fun.
One floor down, in a cafeteria, Isabella thinks that Trump is serious about his idea of annexing Canada, but that he doesn't have enough control to make it happen. “Everyone is nervous, now that we know what he’s capable of. I still wonder why we voted for him,” laments the environment student from Wisconsin. She doesn't hide her jealousy towards Canada, which flatters my chauvinism a little.
“Your health care is better, you are more civilized and less loud in your opinions,” she praises.
By the fire, Ellie is delighted to see that Donald Trump is wasting his time with peccadilloes. “So much the better, it will keep him busy and prevent him from trashing the rest,” the science student half-jokes. She adds that Donald Trump says all the nonsense that comes into his head because around him, no one dares to do so. challenger. As for Canada, whom she describes as a “well-behaved little brother”, Ellie believes that he will grow out of this whole saga. “Instead of becoming a state, it risks uniting you even more around your Canadian identity. »
“He’s an idiot!” »
What we like about Vermont is that cannabis is legal there. After dropping off my suitcase at the chic Champlain hotel (view of the parking lot = half price), I pop over to Green State Dispensary to encourage the local economy. “We would like to have you in our country, but I don't have the impression that it's reciprocal,” the very insightful employee philosophizes, handing me the biggest pre-rolled bat I've seen in my lifetime.
The nightlife being fairly quiet on Monday, I treat myself to the luxury of a good night's sleep.
Before hitting the road again the next day, I do one last probe on Church Street, a magnificent commercial artery, a stone's throw from the marina. Like the day before in Plattsburgh, I pushed open the door of the town hall to survey municipal officials on the threat of annexation. In vain, these people being constantly in meeting.
On the tourist street, people open their businesses. I come across Emmett, a former police officer walking a dog who doesn't feel like stopping his walk for a vox pop with an international flavor. “He’s an idiot!” It’s a distraction to distract us from really important subjects like immigration,” says the Vermonter, himself a big fan of Montreal. “It’s at the end of the street. This is where we go for the best food and the best wine! »
After making a eighth note at the Mobil gas station where the local homeless hang out to give them a leftover joint that would last me two months, I conclude this tour with a chat with Kendall, an Idaho prosecutor, including several members of her family support Trump. “I think many of us would rather be Canadians than see you become our 51st state,” she says bluntly.
Difficult to do better as a fall.
