A trend on social networks is getting people talking. “Trad wives” support and share their model of ideal housewives. Always smiling, happy as ever to do everything to make their husband happy. A trend that makes some people cringe.
The term “trad wife” refers to a movement of women who advocate a return to traditional gender roles. Inspired by a vision of family life from the 1950s, these women emphasize becoming the stereotypically perfect housewife of those years, brilliantly managing her household while her husband, as a good father, provides for them. financial needs of the family.
This movement appeared around ten years ago (the exact date varies depending on the sources), but it has gained a lot of popularity since the Covid period. During this period of uncertainty, this call for a return to a society considered more stable resonated with many Internet users. The famous “it was better before” speech. And as (almost) always in this type of movement, social networks are the basis of its influence.
In short, as the Instagram account The Tradwives Club summarizes, being a perfect trad wife means “continue a tradition“by doing something that”was considered normal“.
Some success
As standard bearers of this philosophy of life, we find some particularly popular influencers.
Alena Kate Pettitt : Undoubtedly one of the best-known tradwives, Alena Kate Pettitt is a British blogger and YouTuber who shares her daily life as a housewife through her site “The Darling Academy”. She teaches her subscribers the importance of domesticity, voluntary submission to a husband’s authority, and caring for the home and family. She is often cited as a central figure in the “trad wife” movement in the United Kingdom.
Estée Williams : American influencer on Instagram and YouTube, Estée Williams shares life advice focused on maintaining a home and the satisfaction that can be found in a traditional woman’s role. She promotes a lifestyle inspired by the 1950s and conservative values, and has attracted a large audience with 120,000 followers to date.
On the French-speaking side, the influencer Haneia is not to be outdone either with its 248,000 subscribers. A French expatriate in the United States, she recounts her daily life as a fulfilled housewife in short videos.
But the crown of “trad wife” influence goes to Hannah Neeleman aka “Ballerina farm”. A true star of social networks, his Instagram account has 10 million subscribers and his TikTok account brings together almost another 10 million.
The one who was “Miss America 2023” is also a member of the Mormon community (just like Haneia). Mother of eight children (from seven months to twelve years), she resides in rural western Utah, she shares with her community her daily life with her children and life on the family ranch.
THE Times conducted an interview with the 34-year-old mother. According to the journalist, it was impossible to speak to her alone about subjects such as contraception, abortion, life as a couple or the trials of motherhood, because she was constantly surrounded by a member of her family. The journalist says that the person behind Ballerina Farm would have no space of her own to express herself, even being regularly interrupted.
An ideology that does not only have followers
Through them, the staged life of a housewife appears sweet and attractive, but also provokes debate. Many Internet users wonder about the relationship to motherhood, feminism and the place of women in couples that these influencers convey.
For some, advocating this way of life is almost tantamount to insulting the efforts and sacrifices that have been made for decades in favor of women’s independence.
For Jacques Marquet, sociologist of the family, this way of living and thinking has always existed in recent decades. The big difference is that social networks now make it possible to relay this. But for the specialist, another novelty should be noted in the mentality displayed by these women. “It’s true that there is the dimension, an awareness of being proud to be in this rather traditional model, since there is a desire to make a way of life visible“.
And this pride is perhaps a new element compared to the women who lived through this period of housewives in the 1950s.”We have the impression that it is a movement which puts aside the question of the fragility of contemporary couples and contemporary families.“, adds Jacques Marquet. “Whereas when you question older women today, who were often raised in this model, of mothers at home and fathers outside, they say that ‘given the fragility of the contemporary couple, I would never dare, even if I found what I wanted there, I would never dare to suggest that to my daughters. And that is a reflection that I have heard very often and which is very present in the reflection of women in European countries and certainly in Belgium.”
A doubly risky lifestyle
The solidity of the couple is obviously the cement of this way of life. Because if the couple separates, the woman finds herself extremely destitute, like the 1950s, their dream society.
“If there is a breakup, the woman finds herself the big loser in this scheme.“, confirms Jacques Marquet. For the sociologist, women who devote themselves to this way of life risk finding themselves doubly losers. “She can manage to reconstitute a couple, but one that functions under the same pattern. And if this is not the case, she finds herself on the job market, without professional experience, without seniority. Sometimes even without studies or very short studies. And there, she is extremely penalized, because she no longer benefits at all from all the investments she was able to make before.”
“Often, she finds herself having to be on the job market. She can therefore no longer devote to her children and her family the time she devoted to them before. But that was the choice she had made. She is therefore a doubly loser. She is a loser from an economic point of view. And at the same time, it is his model that collapses.”
A privileged way of life
The risk of precariousness that we have just discussed raises another aspect of this divisive subject: only the husband’s salary allows the family to pay its bills and provide for its needs. However, given the current cost of living, only the wealthiest can afford to live on just one salary.
We can imagine that for the most well-known influencers, they can generate income with their content on social networks. But it’s far from being given to everyone.
Ultimately, this trend can bring a wind of nostalgia or seduce some with its vintage aesthetic, but from there to adopting it entirely, there is a step that should not be taken lightly.
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