TESTIMONIALS – A breakup is often synonymous with changes. Immerse yourself in the lives of these divorced women who decide, one day, to change everything. Starting with the wardrobe.
Angèle's life changed in 2011 when, after fifteen years of marriage, she signed her divorce papers at the age of 42. Two years later, she decided to organize a huge sorting in the garage of her house which accumulated nearly twenty-five years of clothes, accessories and objects of all kinds reminding her of her past. “My father showed up with his van to take everything to the recycling center. While clearing out, I came across my pair of wedding shoes. In a mixture of anger and euphoria, I threw them, one by one, into the trunk of the van. With this symbolic gesture, I put the final point.”
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The mother of four children tells us about this anecdote with a smile. “The sorting did me a lot of good, but I didn't part with everything. I kept quite a few leather jackets for example, or certain dresses in order to pass them on to my daughters later.”
It felt so good to know that I was no longer the “wife of”.
Hélène, 54 years old, divorced
For her part, Hélène, 54, was much more radical in the way she proceeded. “After my divorce, I completely emptied my cupboards. I gave everything to associations, from clothes to furniture. I even moved and changed regions.” The well-being educator takes this choice to reclaim her image, regain self-confidence and pursue a need for radical change. “A divorce is always painful, it's a life together, children…But it made me feel so good to know that I was going to have to buy everything again, completely redo my wardrobe. I was no longer the “wife of”.”
Empty yourself
For more than fifteen years, storage coach Sophie Labat, founder of La Methode de Sophie, has supported a multitude of clients in reorganizing their interiors. His job consists of going to individuals' homes and helping them sort. Unsurprisingly, she is often contacted by people wanting to declutter following a divorce. “The psychological weight of objects is heavy and important, and clothes contain memories. This can be explained by many factors: an outfit given to you by an ex-partner, a dress worn on a first date…” For the expert, parting with clothes following a divorce can allow a lightening of the living space…and the mind. “That includes the idea of new beginnings. Often, the women I meet don't necessarily want to sell them, but rather to get rid of them quickly in order to feel better, relieved, and to finally be able to look forward to the future with peace of mind.”
Emptying your closet, and the memories that go with it, is also recommended when the separation has gone badly.
Sophie Labat, tidying coach
Sort to clear your mind. This subject has been covered by many tidying professionals, including the famous Marie Kondo. We remember his KonMari method which suggests getting rid of objects that do not bring joy, happiness or utility. Finally, to only preserve possessions capable of arousing positive emotion. “After a divorce, it’s important to surround yourself with clothes that make you feel good, even if it means having half as many,” continues Sophie. Besides, we generally only use 30% of our wardrobe. Emptying your wardrobe, and the memories that go with it, is also recommended when the separation has gone badly.”
The art of accumulating
For Pauline, a 39-year-old Parisian, the pattern is different. Her breakup with her partner is an upheaval that takes away her appetite from one day to the next. “I couldn’t swallow anything, so I lost a lot of kilos.” With this sudden weight loss, she has no choice but to buy clothes adapted to her new waistline. “Especially pants, tights…Lingerie too, a size difference, you can feel it.” A fairly common post-separation scenario according to Mélanie Magence, founder of the podcast They Trust and specialist in love psychology issues. “Separation is a shock that can cause some people to lose or gain weight. Either because they take refuge in food, or on the contrary because the experience cuts their appetite. In both cases, the clothes will no longer be the right size, which obviously includes a wardrobe renewal.
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Especially since Pauline is not in the habit of getting rid of clothes. This great fashion fan has always invested in good quality pieces designed to last. But not only that. “My ex, with whom I remained on good terms, had offered me a lot. He rarely made a mistake and quickly understood what I liked. He always bought me dresses and sweaters that suited me and that I kept.”
New look, new life
Same thing for Cathy, a 52-year-old Breton woman, who separated from the father of her children in 2018, for whom divorce becomes an open door to new fashion purchases. “With my ex-husband, I ran a construction business, so I had a lot of construction pants. At the time of the separation, I bought more feminine clothes, more dressy pants…” Mélanie Mage deciphers: “During a separation, and after years as a couple with a partner who no longer looks at us , some may be in a hurry to return to the seduction market. Which therefore implies making more effort to please, and going through the process of buying new clothes.” This is what also happened to Hélène, the divorced wellness educator: “Married, I was very classic, always in a suit and heels. My divorce was truly a sea change. My style has reinvented itself, also to detach myself from this image that I associated with my old life.
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But skimming a wardrobe after a separation also depends, according to Cathy, on a multitude of factors, including the relationship you have with your ex-spouse. “Personally, I get on well with him. So I never felt the need to give up my old clothes to move on to something else.” The mother, however, admits to having undergone tidying training, as she tends to keep more than throw away.
