The first female permanent professor at the Institute of Advanced Scientific Studies, mathematician Laure Saint-Raymond, 49, is the mother of six children. After giving us her consent to participate in the “Parents’ lives” section, she looked at the list of questions usually asked. “The questionnaire made me extremely uncomfortable”she wrote to us.
“The worst thing your child has said to you”, “your best quality as a parent”… The use of superlatives seemed to him moved. What is there between the best and the worst? For her, the questions were too closed. “It lacks nuance, and it assumes that we have immediate feedback on what we do, say, propose, authorize, prohibit…”
Scientifically, it was not very rigorous. She arranged to meet us at the Academy of Sciences, of which she is a member, to give us her answers to other questions.
You have six children, aged 15 to 25. Did you raise them the same way?
We don’t raise the first like the last. Already, because I had my first child at 24, and we are not the same person as at 50. As a parent, we change too. For the eldest, we follow the dietary diversification schedule to the letter. The last one, he took fries from his brothers and sisters’ plates at 6 months old. The eldest, if he plays music, we make sure that he practices his scales every day. For the last one, we understand that we have to choose our battles, and we no longer set the same priorities, which makes the elders say that the last ones are darlings.
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I myself am the eldest of a family of seven children, and I know that we do not have the same relationship with adults when we arrive first or last. For the eldest, there is a form of guilt if we do not follow what we believe is expected of our parents. The youngest feel freer. The elders live under the gaze of adults, while the younger ones can take their example from the elders. We particularly noticed this during confinement: the youngest was exposed to the elders, who were doing their medical or legal work.
What difference does a large family make in terms of education?
There is less of an age gap between my oldest son and my youngest brother than between my youngest brother and me. We form a kind of tribe! In my family, we have this culture of being close, of seeing each other, of spending time together… This proximity is a strength both on a daily basis and in the trials of life.
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