Nancy Ouimet, 56, will leave this world on November 5. That day, surrounded by the people who are dearest to her, she will go to the Enfant-Jésus hospital to receive medical assistance in dying.
For Nancy, this decision marks the end of a long ordeal that lasted seven years, that of living with pudendal neuralgia that has become chronic, an unbearable pain that no treatment has managed to soothe in the long term.
“When I said it, it was a relief for me,” says the woman who lives in Quebec. The decision to opt for medical assistance in dying allowed him to regain some form of control over his life after years of suffering. This rare disease, which affects the pudendal nerve, causes debilitating pain in the pelvic region. Unfortunately, Nancy was not diagnosed early enough, which contributed to her condition worsening.
“There are days when it’s unbearable, where I have to lie down all day,” she says. I am no longer able to go shopping. Go to the store, walk, walk. It’s too painful because everything hurts.”
Drug treatments, as powerful as they are, have not been effective. “Until I took such strong medication that I became a zombie,” continues the 56-year-old woman. Fentanyl, ketamine…”
Medical wandering
Nancy deplores the medical wandering that she suffered throughout her life. She remembers a time 40 years ago when her health issues were misunderstood and neglected.
“I was sent home with Tylenol without any tests,” she recalls. According to her, even today, the system has not really changed. Patients continue to face endless delays and a lack of follow-up, she deplores.
Faced with the powerlessness of medicine, Nancy finally decided to request medical assistance in dying, a choice which brought her immense relief. “It was 100 pounds off my shoulders,” she admits, without the slightest regret.
After having her request evaluated and approved by two doctors, Nancy began to prepare for this deadline, while savoring every moment that life still offers her. Meals, walks, moments shared with friends and family take on new importance.
At the same time, Nancy takes care of all the necessary practical procedures before her departure. “I’m the one who organizes my funeral,” she explains. I find out. I choose my urn. And also all the things I need to sort out. Cancel all my subscriptions. You have to think about everything. It’s hard to sort out a whole life.”
Nancy approaches this final stage with great serenity. Her courage in the face of illness and her thoughtful choice testify to her inner strength. “Death is part of life,” she reflects. We prepare to get married, we prepare for studies, for a job. We don’t prepare to die.”
Leave in peace
Nancy assures that she will take the road to the hospital with peace of mind. “On November 5, I will return on my own two feet. Then it will be warm. There will be tears, but there will be laughter. We can stay 4 hours talking, bonding. Then when I’m ready, I call the doctor. Then we proceed. Then after that, I’ll be fine, I’ll be released.”
Despite the difficulties, Nancy never stopped fighting. “I was considered infertile,” she said. And I had a child. And I fought to raise my daughter. I raised her alone.”
These last days are an opportunity for her to remember moments of happiness and to calmly close the chapters of her life. “I experienced very beautiful things that I wanted. I went to Las Vegas, I went to see Celine Dion. It was in my dreams. And my parents allowed me to experience that. I went with them.” She leaves with a feeling of gratitude, grateful for the beautiful experiences she had despite the suffering.
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On November 5, while the whole world will be looking to the United States where a woman could make history by becoming the first president, Nancy, for her part, will be entirely dedicated to sharing love with her close ones.
“Look, I won’t even know who won,” Nancy said, laughing with a certain carelessness.
Since 2016, more than 20,000 Quebecers have used medical assistance in dying. That year, around 500 people benefited, but this number will exceed 5,600 in 2023.
See the explanations in the video above
