At certain times, Manon is subject to heavy contracts (1). “At first, she couldn’t call us and visits were prohibited. » The teenager ended up “ending the system”: “At the time of the weigh-ins, she made sure she had gained a little bit of weight. So, she was entitled to outings,” recalls Aude. But, “in no case was she ready to heal.”
In 2016, Manon died of cardiac arrest, the result of hyperkalemia, namely a high level of potassium in the blood. Her death comes a week after Aude gave birth. “She’s my son’s godmother…”
Eight years later, she still blames herself: “Were we present enough? There are lots of questions that arise. Questions for which we will never have answers…”
“A real obstacle course”
According to Inserm, “around 20% of young girls adopt restrictive and fasting behaviors at some point in their lives but only a minority of them become anorexic”. If, according to the Nantes University Hospital, anorexia nervosa has “the highest mortality rate of psychiatric disorders”, some patients survive. Like Anne-Lise, who after “teasing” fell into anorexia at 14 years old. “I suffered from it for six years, I weighed between 45 kg and 37 kg with around fifteen hours of sport per week,” explains the young woman, who recovered after four months of hospitalization.
Estelle, who now lives in Saint-Brieuc, also managed to escape. But it was painful, “a real obstacle course”. The trigger for his anorexia? “A very stupid thing, at the age of 13,” she admits. “A boy made a comment to me about my weight even though at the time, I was 1.62 m tall and weighed 53 kg.” From there, she begins to “pay attention”. Then, everything accelerates: in just six months, she goes from 53 to 34 kg. “I only ate apples and vanilla desserts. »
“I even thought about suicide”
His mother decides to hospitalize him. “She saw no other way out. » After three months at Morvan hospital in Brest, she was transferred to psychiatry in Bohars. She will stay there for several months. “There, they put in place a weighty contract. For a month, I stayed locked in my room. » In this more than compartmentalized universe, she is not allowed to read, to wear anything other than pajamas… To go to the toilet, she is accompanied. “In fact, the doctors only gave me meals to keep me busy (…). It was brutal. I experienced it very badly, I even thought about suicide. But, at the same time, it got me out of there. »
However, there were relapses. “There were ups and downs,” she confirms. In town, she is then followed by a child psychiatrist. “I also had treatment,” she adds.
I couldn’t take it anymore, it had to stop.
New ordeal: in high school, she descends into bulimia. “I was so frustrated… There, I was filling myself up, I was eating a lot. And then I made myself vomit. So I wasn’t gaining weight. » A second eating disorder – an “obsession” – that she faced until she was 27. The trigger to stop everything? “Clearly, I couldn’t take it anymore. I also separated from my partner. It was a new beginning. »
At the age of 30, Estelle will meet the man who will become her husband. Of Moroccan origin, he “cooks very well”. At his side, “I returned to a normal diet,” she declares.
“Self-destructive” behavior
Oriane has also returned from hell. At 33, she lives in Montauban (Tarn-et-Garonne). It wasn’t until adulthood that she developed anorexia. “The triggering factor was work,” she confides.
Insidiously, the illness sets in: “I started eating a lot less. I also had vomiting behaviors. » She even goes so far as to take laxatives “in very large doses”. “I wasn’t limited to one or two tablets, I could consume a whole tablet in one go. » “Self-destructive” behavior, combined with intensive sports practice. “At one time, I had to do 1,500 sit-ups in a day; otherwise, it didn’t work. »
I didn’t give birth to you to see you die. This disease is killing you.
Her husband realizes this. He tries to talk to her. Wasted effort. “I didn’t hear it at all,” admits Oriane. It’s an “argument” with her father, then her mother’s words that will make her react. “My mom took me in her arms and said lots of things, very calmly, including “I didn’t give birth to you to see you die. This disease is killing you.” The click comes from there. » She then weighed 37.5 kg.
The doctors told me I was crazy to refuse hospitalization.
If she agrees to treatment, she excludes being hospitalized. “The doctors told me I was crazy to refuse,” she says. However, she began therapy and consulted a dietician. At her side, there is also her husband. “He helped me to take the drama out of gaining weight, by talking to me instead about “grams of life”,” she smiles.
However, this dark period still leaves a painful legacy. “And we never talk about that,” she laments. “When your body goes into hiatus, which is the case with anorexia, so does the reproductive system. My periods never came back. » This is why they turned to PMA, always with the hope of becoming parents.
