Cali has been through difficult things and he talks about it openly. He was a guest on the show At Jordan's this Monday, November 25 and, after discussing the tragic fate of his family but also his state of health, he tackled another subject: his suicide attempt. He first explains that the events took place when he was a teenager.
“I tried, but I did everything I could to fail!” Cali remembers. But what happened? As he explains later, it was a disappointment in love which was at the origin of this attempt.
Young Cali was in eighth grade when he attended the high school party. “I was madly in love with a girl. She left with another boy,” he indicated. Faced with this scene, which seemed unbearable to him at the time, Cali left to isolate himself behind a gymnasium. “I broke a beer bottle, and tried to cut my veins open, but on the wrong side on purpose,” he continued before specifying:
“I was held back, but I did everything to be held back.” Cali concludes this explanation with a glimmer of hope: “Because when you open your eyes, there is always someone with loving eyes looking at you”.
Cali: confidences, each more moving than the last
After discussing his suicide attempt, Cali mentioned his drinking, which he used to drown out his sometimes very dark thoughts. “I think I'm a drunkard, but a drunkard versus an alcoholic is different,” he declared. What does he mean by that? “A drunkard loves drunkenness. Drunkard in the sense that I seek drunkenness all the time”, he explained afterwards. The singer then chose a “specific moment” to evoke to highlight what he wants to say. “It’s summer. I am in a small village. It’s the most beautiful party in the world,” he indicates, allowing us to project ourselves further.
Cali goes on to explain: “We’re on a small square, it’s 6 p.m. and we’re drinking a glass of Ricard and then two.” A moment which, if we are to believe his emotion and his smile, is very important for him. “It's rising slowly, the sun is setting. This is the moment I am looking for in my life. he said. Cali says he enjoys drinking from time to time but only during special moments. “We can always say that we are further than someone else but less than someone else,” he assured.
Cali: “Depression sets in…”
Cali was transparent. After talking about his suicide attempt and his alcohol consumption, he shared his inner struggle. “Depression regularly invites itself into my life”, he confides, before adding: “It’s something I manage to regulate when I’m with my friends.” However, when he finds himself all alone, it is his demons that take over. “But often, when I'm alone, I can caress the darkness for ten minutes really. The desire to leave, and ten minutes later to find the sun again”.
Well surrounded, Cali says he can count on the support of one of his close friends, who helps him on a daily basis. “He doesn’t take any medications,” he specifies before adding that those around him have pointed out to him that his songs are often melancholy. “I'm often told that I write depressive songs. I don't think you have to be depressed to write them, but I like having a pebble in my shoe”, indicates the singer before concluding: “I like the idea of flagellating myself too, it allows me to absolutely live what I sing about”. Confidences in complete transparency.
