These defeats that torture our brain

Now that the Canadian is eliminated, let’s Take over our mental gymnastics sessions. Those where I torture your brain by bombing it with unusual, incredible and useless statistics.

Posted at 7:45 a.m.

What lesson were we doing, already?

Oh yes. The best of the worst. These teams that lose with the most radiance. No need to look far, we have one of these clubs in our own court: CF Montreal. The last time the Montrealers won a League match, Justin Trudeau was Prime Minister of Canada and Joe Biden, President of the United States. It clamps. Here we are going to the third of the season, and the blue-white-black still struggles for its first MLS victory.

Eleven games without gain to start the year, is this a mediocrity record? Yes. It equals the worst departure from the history of the league. Except that the most amazing is not even that. It is that in the general classification, there is a rival under the CF Montreal.

How is it possible?

Another team presents exactly the same sheet (0-8-3), but a worst differential goals. And of course, of all the possibilities, this club had to be the League title champion, the wealthy Galaxy of Los Angeles.

Credit to the Galacticos, who found a new way to lose. On Sunday, they underwent an unprecedented defeat in the MLS: their opponent did not succeed.

Do not adjust your tablet, you read that right. The Sporting of Kansas City won 1-0 without having never kicked the ball on the goalkeeper or in the net. Explanations, please? Defender Maya Yoshida, from the Galaxy, has diverted an opposing pass in his own net. It was the only goal of the match.

My brain thanks him.Watch the goal video

* * *

The world male hockey championships have just ended. Not the one where Canada is playing in the first division. Those of the lower divisions, where the talented gap is as deep as the Mariannes pit.

Here are the results of the Singapore national team in the 3B division.

No team from the Eastern NHL Association ended the season with a differential under -50. The Singaporeans went to -57 in just … five games!

Let us continue our trip to the depths of international hockey. Let’s go down to the fourth division – the weakest of all.

Six countries clashed in a tournament around: Uzbekistan, Armenia, Kuwait, Indonesia, Iran and Malaysia. Quite improbable result thank you, the last three countries, which nevertheless clashed between them, all left with a differential less than -35!

Pooles, keep an eye on the Kuwaitian Ilia Drozddetskikh: 13 goals, 23 aids, 36 points and +29 in five games. Do you think he can manage the second trio of the Canadian?

* * *

Next stopover: Ireland. The Athlone Buccaneers, second division rugby players, won any part of the winter. Their sheet: 0-18. Their differential: -657.

Take a moment to digest this information – and your muesli. It means that the buccaneers have lost each match by an average of 36 points. How many times have you scored 36 points in a meeting this season?

None, of course.

Not far away, in England, Tottenham’s Spurs are increasing in 16^e place of the Premier League. The last time they were so bad, their biggest fan here, my colleague Jean-François Téotonio, was not yet born.

Of course, by an incredible alignment of the stars, the Spurs are in excellent position to win their first international trophy in 40 years. In the semi-finals of the Europa League, they took a comfortable lead in their first leg against the FK Bodø/Glimt.

What?

The FK Bodø/Glimt. A Norwegian club established in a city in the size of Shawinigan. I swear to you, I do not exaggerate anything. We could accommodate all the inhabitants of Bodø in the Spurs stadium, and there would be room for 10,000 spectators!

If the Spurs win, everything indicates that they will compete in the Cup to another improbable finalist. The 15th^e team of the English ranking. A huge club that has also experienced its worst season since the birth of Téo.

Manchester United.

* * *

Does your brain resist? So much the better, because I kept the strongest for the end. Readers friends, make noise for the world champions of mediocrity, your Colorado rockies!

No conquest of the world series. No season finished at the top of a division of five teams. And I promise you that it is not this year that it will change.

Rockies (6-28 before Wednesday’s matches) are in the process of knowing the worst season of a major baseball leagues team for 125 years. Wait, worse, that the White Sox of Chicago last summer? Affirmative. They have already crossed three lethargies of six consecutive defeats. The Chicago Cubs and the New York dishes have not yet lost two of it.

What’s wrong with Denver?

All. Even if they evolve in the rarefied air of the rocks, the rocky strikers are the worst major leagues. The lower average of the stick, larger number of withdrawals on sockets. A duo as explosive as a hottie and its X account on Saturday at 2 a.m.

Rockies had on Wednesday not one, not two, but six players who did not hit either for their weight in books or for their size in centimeters.

It is not better among starters:

– Antonio Senzatela and Kyle Freeland are the two launchers who gave the most surely in the major leagues;

– Chase Dollander is second place in the launchers that have granted the most circuits in the national.

And incredible but true, neither Senzatela, Nor Freeland, Nor Dollander is the worst launcher of the Rockie Rotation. This title returns hands down to Germán Márquez (0-6, 9.90), on the way to one of the worst seasons in the modern era. In a departure in mid-April, Márquez went to the showers before the end of the first round. He had already granted three single, one double, a goal on balls, two circuits, seven points and reached a striker – in just 37 throws.

If the trend is maintained, Quebec will have a tram, a third link, a fourth link, a fifth link and a NHL club before Rockies become relevant. But hey, their supporters do not need to have an ink blood either.

Who has not already experienced a bad century?