The end of year celebrations can be an opportunity for great reunions, but also for tensions, especially when values diverge. Between minimalism and sustainability on one side, splendor and abundance on the other, how can we find common ground? Point J questions the differences in vision around symbols as traditional as gifts and meals.
“The holidays represent a real bombardment of information. Smells, music, light. This revives personal memories linked to this intense period and can create nostalgia or wounds linked to childhood”, explains Kaja Oppegaard, systemic psychotherapist , specialist in link and interaction.
This is also present in gifts, often symbolic. Therefore, the specialist recommends first thinking about your ideal vision of Christmas and the values that you want to convey through gifts.
We can create a map of people to whom we want to give gifts by classifying them by category. For some loved ones, concessions may have to be made. For others, a dialogue is possible by explaining their approach.
“Some people can be hurt by simple or recycled gifts that are perceived as a sign of lack of value on the part of the giver,” recalls the therapist. “In this case, we can decide to make concessions for these specific people.”
Then, we can imagine another category of people who appreciate nice gifts, but with whom we can open a dialogue. “We can imagine that the gift is accompanied by a letter or an explanation, explains Kaja Oppegaard. The main thing is to find a balance between traditions and new aspirations to preserve family harmony during the holidays, underlines- She.
How to manage disagreements around meals?
Juliane Roncoroni and the Point J team
World