Thomas, 38, met his 31-year-old partner 2 years ago: “I was single after a long relationship. I was sad about the separation but I signed up straight away on a dating app. The day after my partner left, I planned to clear my head with dates and sleep with women without trying to get to know them more than that. I’m not proud of it. a very mature attitude but it’s like I had planned to deal with the separation and grieve. It lasted two weeks. I had to see 6 women. And then I met my current partner. She was a little younger. than me, which is something I would have looked for if I had wanted to get into a relationship. On the date, it didn’t take more than two hours for love at first sight to arrive. . She made me laugh. She was intelligent. ambition. It was a bit of a big mouth, I would say, which is not at all common in these kinds of circumstances. The women I had seen before tended to show themselves in their best light, a little gentle, a little submissive. She wasn’t like that at all. I didn’t even ask him to go to my house directly afterwards. She was the one who asked me to kiss her outside her house.”
“Before meeting her, I had made a decision”
After a year of relationship, Thomas knows that his partner wants children: “I am totally in love with her and I am leaving this subject a little unresolved. I have known almost from the start that she wants them and that I am not going to not being able to give her what she wants: that is, having a child with the man she loves. So I don’t say anything when she talks about it or when she tells me about her babies. friends. I’m interested in her and this. that she feels, but I don’t raise more than that on this subject. At one point, she wanted us to have a face-to-face conversation. She wanted to know if I wanted to and if I would want to. with her. I didn’t lie. I said yes, with her I would want to. But the truth is that I haven’t been able to for several years. decision on my life and I was at the end of it approach. I didn’t dare tell him that I had a vasectomy. I don’t see it as a lie but I know it could be taken that way. I’m just starting to realize it now. We’ve been “trying” for a year and it doesn’t work, which is not surprising. But I see her doubting and suffering and I can’t tell her the truth. She would leave me.”
“I don’t suffer from it”
Thomas, however, continues to maintain the illusion: “I accompany her to her appointments, I take care of her when she has her period and it makes her sad. I know that there will come a time when it I will have to get tested and we will realize that I am drawing a blank. There will still be possibilities for me, I think. We can still benefit from a sperm donation. Tons of people do. that and it doesn’t shock anyone. I know that. is not the same as doing it with the natural method but anyway, it is already no longer possible I would not say that I have changed my mind on the question of children. the need to have children. But I would like that with her, because she really wants them too. It’s a couple’s project that I would like. But I don’t regret what I did. It’s still a little confusing in my head, these are for me. two things that are not related. If we have a child, it will be different. Because that’s how it works for me now. I see myself more as a sterile man actually. And I don’t suffer from it. There are still solutions. I just don’t know how to tell her that I already have all the answers to her questions. I lack courage on this, that’s for sure. But not to complete his project. If she agrees to do it differently, then we will. For her, I can become a father despite everything.”
Who are these people who lie about their lives, their stories or their personalities? How do we come to lie? For some people, it is not possible to be completely honest even with loved ones or loved ones. Let’s try to understand a little better those who lie despite love.
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Canada
