Oh, hey. I didn’t see you there.
After taking a two-month break, I’m back and ready to go once again. I don’t have any more time to waste, as Crown Jewel is about to begin any second now, so let’s take a ride once again, shall we? I’ll talk more about my break in my regular Monday column coming on… well… Monday.
Let’s rock.
Roman Reigns, Jey Uso & Jimmy Uso vs Solo Sikoa, Tama Tonga & Jacob Fatu – Six-Man Tag Match
This is an interesting choice to open the show. I know a lot of folks assumed this would be the main event, but with Cody Rhodes and Gunther competing for the Crown Jewel Championship, it made sense to slot that match last. In this day and age, the second-most important match at a pay-per-view is the show opener, which gets the crowd amped up and sets the tone for the rest of the night. No matter what happens here, we know the cast of characters is enough to get this crowd in Riyadh excited.
It’s worth pointing out that Roman and Jimmy came out together for the match, and that Jey had his own separate entrance. Not for the fact that they didn’t come out as a trio, but because Jey came out last. That’s a clear indication of how WWE views Jey at this stage in his career. It’s a really big deal.
We haven’t even gotten the opening bell to start the match, but this crowd is on fire. They love the face squad, and they certainly hate the heel team, especially Solo.
The crowd loudly chants that they want Roman in the match, so Jey tags… Jimmy. On commentary, Michael Cole rightfully says that it’s like Jey is testing Roman to make sure that Roman is willing to stay on the same page. That will be a fun development to keep an eye on.
Jacob Fatu is effortlessly hilarious to me. He is one of the scariest men in the business, but he makes me laugh every single time he loudly professes his love for Solo Sikoa. He has done it three or four times already here.
As expected, the crowd exploded when Roman was finally able to tag in, and they went crazy for Roman and Solo having an exchange of strikes.
Poor timing alert! Solo hit Roman with a Samoan Spike and went for the pin that was supposed to be broken up by Jimmy, but Jimmy didn’t arrive on time, causing Referee Ryan Tran to stop the count for seemingly no reason. That didn’t look good at all.
Thanks to Jacob Fatu, Solo was able to pick up the pin and the win for his team. Surely, it was a pin on Jimmy Uso, right?
No.
On Jey Uso?
No.
Solo pinned Roman Reigns, which nearly took the air out of the arena. It makes perfect sense in the story. Solo has needed some big wins to look like he’s anywhere near the level of Roman, so pinning Roman himself was the easiest way to make that happen.
After the match, Solo and his crew continued their assault, but were stopped by Sami Zayn. Sami teases aligning himself with Solo, only to attack Solo instead. It wasn’t all smooth, though. As the faces were in all four corners, surrounding Solo, we had Roman and Sami charging Solo at the same time, leading to Sami accidentally dropping Roman with a Helluva Kick. Jimmy is upset with Sami. Jey is upset with Jimmy for being upset with Sami. This is exactly what the story needed.
The match itself was fun, albeit a bit formulaic. Let’s say 3.25 Stars and move on.
Bianca Belair & Jade Cargill vs Kairi Sane & Iyo Sky vs Lash Legend & Jakara Jackson vs Chelsea Green & Piper Niven – Fatal Four-Way for the WWE Women’s Tag Team Titles
Did you know the last time Lash and Jakara won a televised tag match was over three months ago? So… logically, they’re included here and have a chance of becoming the new WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions. Makes sense to me.
Absolutely nothing of real interest took place in the match for several minutes. Then, we got a showdown in the center of the ring between Jade Cargill and Lash Legend, where they went back-and-forth hitting each other with some STIFF strikes. Jeez.
The pace has really picked up after that Jade and Lash showdown. It took a minute, but it’s better late than never, I suppose.
A tale of two halves here, really. The first half of the match was just… there. Some clunky moments, but overall, nothing really special. Then, the Jade and Lash showdown took place, and everything picked up from there. I’ll be generous and give it 3 Stars. The champions retain their titles, and they continue to look completely unstoppable.
Seth Rollins vs Bronson Reed
Seth is never going to know peace again, is he? The man probably feels like an 80-year-old when he rolls out of bed every morning. It’s crazy how many miles he has on his body.
Within minutes, Seth’s back is bloodied, battered, and welted. Well, that’s certainly not going to help him feel better tomorrow morning.
This was the fun clash of styles I was expecting it to be. Rollins picks up the win, but it was Big Bronson that came out of this looking like a monster. It took a Stomp on the ring steps, followed by a Stomp on the mat, followed by a Stomp from the top rope to finally give Seth the win. After the match, Bronson rises to his feet, causing Seth to ask “what the fuck is wrong with you?” Bronson says he wants more, so this feud looks like it could be continuing on.
3.5 Stars. Good performance by both men.
Liv Morgan vs Nia Jax – WWE Women’s Crown Jewel Title Match
Money In The Bank briefcase holder Tiffany Stratton has said she’s cashing in on someone at Crown Jewel. Will she stay true to her word? Who will she cash in on? Why is Jadakiss as hard as it gets?
It’s so funny that we’ve had these Crown Jewel Championship belts created, looking as ostentatious and gaudy as possible, only to then announce that the winners of the titles won’t be bringing the belts home with them. Instead, they’ll earn a Super Bowl style “championship ring” that we’ll probably see once or twice on television in the weeks to come, and then not again until the road to next year’s Crown Jewel event.
Tiffy Time! Stratton sprints down to the ring and appears ready to cash in, only to be interrupted by Nia, who orders Tiffany to leave. Hilariously, Tiffany walks about a quarter of the way back up the ramp before turning back around and teasing another cash in. This time, she is interrupted by Raquel Rodriguez, who teleported from out of nowhere. We’ve got a real malfunction at the junction now. Dominik Mysterio is also at ringside.
The usual distraction leads to Liv picking up the win. As she almost always does when she wins big matches, Liv is crying and then cries even more when Triple H enters the ring to hand her the Crown Jewel Title.
The match itself was decent. Nothing special. Just decent. All of the start-stop-start-stop interference that almost literally took up half of the match time didn’t do anyone any favors, either. 2.75 Stars
Randy Orton vs Kevin Owens
I’m expecting another super physical battle here. The story being told will accept nothing less.
Seeing Randy Orton wrestle at 300 pounds is boggling my mind. The man is JACKED.
Before the match begins, Owens attacks Orton with a steel chair and they’re brawling at ringside in front of the announce tables. As I type that, Orton drops Owens on the table, which doesn’t break.
Owens with a Stunner to the Referee, and things have really broken down, even though the match has yet to get underway. It won’t be getting underway, as Michael Cole says that officials have waved the match off.
RKO to Adam Pearce! Everyone getting in the way of Orton and Owens has been physically disposed of. They’re still brawling, now taking the fight into the crowd and over to the production equipment. Owens places Orton atop a table, then ascends to the seating level, delivering a painful-looking elbow drop, breaking the table.
Even though we didn’t get a match, that was still a lot of fun. They didn’t care about anything other than hurting each other, and it leaves the door open for something else between them in the future. I dig it.
LA Knight vs Carmelo Hayes vs Andrade – Triple Threat Match for the WWE United States Title
We’re only a few minutes deep here, and I’m already ready to make this the Match Of The Night so far. My goodness. All three men are on fire, and we’re seeing counters, reversals, flips, and non-stop excitement.
This may have been LA Knight’s best match in WWE. I’d have to do some research on that to be 100% sure, though. All three men looked tremendous with some big-time performances, but it was the champion who emerged victorious, somewhat surprisingly. The Triple Threat was put together in a way that led many to believe it would take the title from Knight without having him get pinned, but he retains and continues to build momentum.
My only complaint is the lack of time this got. I wasn’t officially timing it, but by looking at the clock, the match lasted somewhere around nine minutes long. Yes, they packed a lot of action into those nine minutes, but it was still nine minutes nonetheless. 4 Starsbut I really wish we could’ve seen them go 15+ minutes to really see what they would’ve been capable of.
Cody Rhodes vs Gunther – WWE Men’s Crown Jewel Title Match
Here we go. A match where neither competitor should be taking a loss right now, but in a bout that is clearly designed for someone to come out with a victory.
There is a true “big fight feel” for the match, though, so there’s that.
Yet another WWE show that isn’t taking place in North America which features an absolutely insane crowd atmosphere. These fans have been loud all night, but they’ve been nuts for this one. Lots of soccer style chants, a lengthy wave, and a bunch of overall noise. Good stuff.
Add Cody to the list of Gunther’s opponents who end up having a chest that looks like raw ground beef. On top of that, Cody appears to have a couple tiny cuts on his face.
Cody wins! I love the story being told here. Gunther had previously “called his shot” by predicting he would win the match with a Sleeper, and he kept going for it. As Cody went for a Cody Cutter from the top rope, Gunther caught him for a Sleeper attempt, but Cody was able to flip through and get the pin. Really good stuff here, as you would expect with who was involved. Match Of The Night at 4.25 Stars.
Before leaving the ring, Gunther offers his hand to Cody, and they shake. I love that Gunther’s character is a heel, but he remains all about the respect and love for the game, allowing him to do things like shake hands with a face, and it doesn’t look weird or out of place at all.
Overall, I’d say Crown Jewel is worth checking out if you haven’t done so already. You could call it a “glorified house show” like a lot of the Saudi shows end up being, but the action was pretty good throughout, even if there weren’t any “great” matches until the final two of the night.
I appreciate you taking time out of your day to read the words I typed. It’s good to be back, and I’ll see you all again on Monday for my regular weekly piece.
