It doesn’t tick any boxes in the eyes of an owner
These lived experiences show, in dotted lines, the lack of scope of existing public policies to support single families. The FDSS report does not make generalizations about single parenthood but supports the idea of concentrating aid on single mothers living most of the time alone with their child(ren). For this group, access to rights is particularly hampered. Some mothers (and therefore their children), migrants, undocumented immigrants, without diplomas, without professional integration, overexposed to intra-family violence… are particularly vulnerable.
First major obstacle facing them: housing. Generally speaking, access to the rental market is very complicated when you are alone with children. A mother says she has to leave her home in the spring, that she has no job, children to care for and pets. It doesn’t tick any boxes in the eyes of a potential owner. “She lives in a state of panic at the idea of finding herself without a solution.”we read in the report.
“Let’s stop saying: we’re going to wait until Mr. is here”: single mothers must also fight against the stereotype of the “normal” family
No job rather than a bad job…
To increase their chances of decent housing, mothers who are heads of household must work. But again, the equation is flawed from the start. For these generally unskilled women, a “bad job” (with very low pay, odd hours and difficult tasks) is more harmful than no job. The conditions of these positions do not allow them, or no longer, to arrive at the nursery on time, to drive the children to school, to follow their homework. Current activation policies generate stress and put them at odds, both in their roles as mothers and workers. “What we feel is guilt and it pulls from all sides. We’re broken. Torn apart by guilt.”
Solo moms who are on the edge feel stronger after following the Miriam project
Consequences on physical and mental health
This paradoxical injunction (“You must work and, at the same time, be a good mother”) reinforces negative judgments towards single mothers who do not need that to lower their self-esteem. In many cases, this impacts their physical and mental health, notes the Federation of Social Services. Activation towards work can be positive if it leads to sufficiently paid, high-quality jobs that are compatible with caring for their child(ren), the report specifies.
The study suggests avenues for social support for single parents and recommendations for public action. Including the individualization of social rights and the abolition of the status of cohabitant, demands made for several years by actors in the field and, more recently, by an institution like the Public Service of Wallonia.
Women are on the front line of burn-outs in Belgium
