This Thursday, November 7, 2024, is the National Day Against School Bullying. Affecting one in ten students, according to National Education, this scourge does not only concern adolescents but also, more and more often, very young children, as evidenced by this story revealed by France Bleu Gironde. The events took place in a public nursery school in the city of Bruges, near Bordeaux.
“Pebbles and wood chips in the mouth”
It all starts at the start of the school year in September 2023. Audrey, a home beautician, is the mother of three children including Gabriel*, a boy then aged 3 enrolled in middle school. “I had doubts at the start of the year, because I often needed to have my son's glasses tightened, but it was only after a month and a half that Gabriel dared to tell me that it was another boy who had fun taking them from him, making fun of him and who slapped him regularly”.
Some time later, on January 18, “Gabriel's teacher tells me that he is dropping out, that he is stuck, as if paralyzed at the board, that he is not doing the exercises“, continues Audrey who then takes her child for a speech therapist assessment. The diagnosis indicates that Gabriel is “beyond the skills of his age“. On the evening of January 31, his mother tried to understand what was wrong at school.
“And there, Gabriel explains to me that three boys are harassing him. Students from a large section because it is a mixed class. Two of them hold his jaw open while the third puts a stone in his mouth and they hit him regularly. We're talking more and more about bullying but I didn't think I'd have to discuss it so early with my child, we're talking about kindergarten here!”
“I'm the boss, you have to put my cock in your mouth”
From the evening when Audrey learns “for the stones“, she immediately alerted the school. Two days later, on February 2, the director of the kindergarten summoned the three students involved who admitted the facts. “They even admitted that they also put wood chips in Gabriel’s mouth,” Audrey specifies.
A weekend passes and the following Monday, at bedtime, “I put my son to bed. I give him lots of kisses and I tell him – I love you, I love you, I love you. And then, my son says to me – Are you going too give me a kiss on the dick? When I hear that I immediately ask him – Why are you telling me that? Did he ever say yes to me? a certain student who told me – I'm the boss, you have to put my cock in your mouth and vice versa These three bullies told him – we're friends, you don't tell the adults.
Parents report sexual assault “to the inspector, the town hall, the school psychologist and the director of the establishment”. If the facts of sexual assault are not confirmed by the Bordeaux rectorate (see below), the anti-harassment protocol is nevertheless triggered during that week. A ” zoning” is organized in particular to prohibit harassers from coming into contact with their victim. “And the teacher welcomes Gabriel every morning in front of the school.”
“I ask for a change of class, I am told no”
Faced with “psychological aftereffects“of their son, and after”very complicated nights“, Gabriel's parents request a change of class. “I received an email in which the school director and the academic inspector told me that this was not possible.” During a consultation with the family doctor, “my doctor tells me that he doesn't understand why I'm being refused a change of class.”
The family contacts 3018, the single number set up by the State for situations of school harassment. “I was given a file number, the person, very kind, gave me advice for monitoring Gabriel but I didn't need it, my son was already being followed by a psychologist, I had already seen a remedial teacher and a psychomotor therapist.
At the end of the Easter holidays, in April 2024, the change of class is validated. “It was my doctor who called the National Education doctor who forced the hand of the school management.”estimates Audrey. Once in his new class, Gabriel is distanced from his harassers but “It wasn't enough. So I asked for a change of school.”
“I was refused a change of school”
When Gabriel's parents requested, in mid-May, a change of school from the town hall and the academy inspector, “this is refused to us“, remembers Nicolas, the father. “We were told that we were not part of the sector of the new school that we wanted.”
“I asked for a meeting with an elected official, continues Audrey. And we were very surprised by the words of this elected official, regarding what happened in the toilets, she told us – yes, well then you know, they are children, it's discovery. I think there are words that are unhearable and inhumane.”
“My son used to not wet the bed and during that time he peed himself at night and every day at school. He got to the point where he was biting his hand because he couldn't stand being in the yard with the children in question.”
“Our son was doing very badly, and obviously so were we.”adds Nicolas, whose couple is going to struggle. The family claims that they are then in “full of dismay, helpless, facing a wall.” Parents are forced to pick up their son in the middle of the afternoon because he can no longer cope with extracurricular time. “I could no longer work part of the day, I spent sleepless nights, it was a nightmare to go through all that“, insists Audrey.
The change of school finally accepted two days before the start of the school year
According to Gabriel's parents, it was the intervention of ALCHM, the Association for the fight against harassment and mistreatment based in Villenave d'Ornon, which made it possible to resolve the situation. “We wrote directly to the mayor“, recalls Wilfrid Issanga, the president of the association. “What is scandalous in this matter is that you have parents who say – our child is suffering, he could have had an intestinal obstruction with these stones, we simply want him to change schools. It's the least we can do. But even there, there are reluctances. That’s what’s shocking.”
The change of school is validated a few days after the start of the school year, or approximately three months after the first request. Since then, his parents say, “Gabriel is smiling again and no longer wets the bed“Audrey and Nicolas have not yet filed a complaint, they say.”discouraged” through the procedures and letters already sent.
The town hall of Bruges assures that it has taken the matter “very seriously”
Requested by France Bleu Gironde, the town hall of Bruges affirms “take all reports of school harassment made to them very seriously“The municipality reminds that an anti-harassment protocol has been put in place.”the next day” of the alert by National Education with the town hall “stakeholder” to the extent that certain measures take place during after-school time, in the playground or even in the canteen.
The town hall of Bruges also declares having received the parents “on many occasions“. After the request to change schools, a first exemption committee meets on June 17. “All members, school directors, elected officials, parents' representatives, agree on one thing, we must not change Gabriel's school“.
The municipality also denies the comments made by the parents to the elected official. “The latter told them that as deputy mayor, she was not competent to classify the facts as sexual assault. And she affirmed that early childhood specialists explain that, when it comes to very young children, certain gestures can refer to the discovery of the body.“The chosen one also indicates”having informed the mother that it was possible for her to file a complaint” to the police station if she judged that there was sexual assault.
“Sometimes excessive acts which can have traumatic effects”, according to the rectorate
The harassment experienced by Gabriel was never “neither diminished nor minimized“, estimates the Bordeaux rectorate. “The alerts were followed by concrete actions, including during school holidays“, says Anne-Frédérique Lemonnier, academic referent in the fight against school bullying. If the request for a change of class made on February 8 is not accepted, it is because ““It's a very upsetting decision for a 4-year-old child to be moved to another class, as it can penalize him even though he is the target and victim of the incident.”
Anne-Frédérique Lemonnier also claims that Gabriel's father, Nicolas, one day went to the school to “talk“with the harassing students even though he was equipped with a”adjustable wrench”. A scene which would have shocked the parents of the children concerned.
“Nothing has been able to confirm a sexual assault, these facts are not characterized, the children interviewed were in denial”continues the Bordeaux rectorate. “Several meetings“take place between the academy inspector, the school director and Gabriel's parents. After a new alert from the mother, the teacher cannot discern”no warning signs after observing the boy in class“. Face “to a very anxious family”“a favorable response was given to the request for a change of class on April 30 and this was effective in May, upon returning from vacation“.
Concerning the change of school, the academic referent explains that “the excessive numbers in the school desired by the parents did not allow the request to be validated initially“. “At no time have we let go of this family's hand, but we need to put protocols in place to properly respond to their needs.”
*First name changed at the request of the family.
