Claude, 67, has been in a relationship with Nicole, 48, for almost 15 years: “We both had difficult divorces with children on our side. I stayed single for 2 years to get over it but I continued to have a very active life in my city. I have always participated in several associations, I help at the town hall, I make donations to the school. I don’t know how to stay at home doing nothing. I always need to see people. I met Nicole when she moved to the city and she was looking to make friends. I started by showing her around a bit, without having any ideas in mind. And then one thing led to another, and we ended up seeing each other. At first, we didn’t want it to be too serious. We were afraid of introducing the children to each other. We were also afraid of what people would say. But it became more and more serious and we couldn’t help but group our lives and our families. I have never regretted it.”
Claude assures that the age difference is not felt in their relationship: “I am in better shape than her. She needs to rest on weekends and spend days doing nothing on vacation and I can’t sit still. I also do sports several times a week. Physically, I’ve never felt so good. It’s Nicole who has health problems. I’m no longer in the pay of a boss. I manage my time as I want, which is not the case for Nicole, who is also exhausted by her professional life. of our differences. She says that I’m wearing her out. I still have lots of projects. I want to start a business again. She thinks I’m crazy. slow down is that it might prevent us from spending time together.”
“We had a big discussion”
Claude’s hyperactivity has already caused problems in his relationship: “Even if it’s something that makes us laugh most of the time, we’ve already argued about it. She even left the house for a few days, just after the first lockdown. She couldn’t stand seeing me start projects in the house and in the garden. I couldn’t sit still and it was even worse than usual. I would get up at night to take notes or order materials online. I wasn’t like that when I was young. I’ve become like that over time. We had a big discussion after the lockdown crisis and I promised to calm down a little. But the more time passes, the more I feel like it’s running out. I also know that I’m lucky to still be in good shape for a man my age. That’s not the case for everyone. I already have friends who are very sick and some who have even died. I want to make the most of the time he has I have left. Nicole doesn’t realize that. She’s still young.”
For the future, Claude would like to spend more time with his wife: “She still has to work for more than 10 years before retiring and I don’t know where I’m going to be in 10 years. So, I’m organizing vacations for us. Car trips all over Europe. Things that take time to organize and that will give us great memories. Our children are old enough to manage on their own. We can finally enjoy ourselves. We didn’t take the time before because we couldn’t with the children and then we lost the habit of dreaming about it. I started thinking about it when one of my friends lost his wife. I don’t want to tell myself that we will have spent our whole history working or taking care of our children. We need to take care of ourselves too. That’s the advantage of being retired. I have to learn to settle down a little more and enjoy the good times. And also learn that my wife needs to spend time with me where we do nothing. It’s a bit go against my nature but I want to make her happy. She’s the woman I’ve always wanted to grow old with.”
According to an INSEE study, 6 out of 10 men are older than their partners but only 8% of couples have more than 10 years of age difference. In recent years we have noticed an evolution: the average age gap seems to be widening. How do these couples that almost a generation opposes live? Is it possible to have a balanced relationship when both partners are not at the same time in their lives?
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