Good. Where to start ? From the beginning. Under the Seineit is the story of a mako shark became a hammer. Whose fault is it ? To us, the humans, who have made its Pacific Ocean a continent of plastic. The poor creature is completely upset. It tripled in volume in two months (no, that’s not normal). She lost her mind. But not his appetite. Damage. Because she was tired of feeding on plastic bags and bottles – as if tuna and other giant squid had started to become rare – she decided to offer herself as a snack to a group of oceanographers who didn’t want her. only good. Only Sophia (Bérénice Bejo) miraculously escaped the jaws of the ungrateful Lilith, as her benefactors had nicely named her (it’s much nicer than “tag 7”).
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Three years later… We are in Paris. It’s summer. The weather is nice, everyone is only talking about the triathlon world championships and their swimming event in the Seine. A dress rehearsal before the Olympics! We also find Sophia, forever traumatized, who has become a guide at the Aquarium du Trocadéro. Whose life will turn upside down, againwhen a young environmental activist – his biggest fan – tells him that an XXL-sized shark is wandering around in the (brackish) waters of the Seine.
photo credit: Netflix But what the hell did Bérénice Bejo do in this mess?
We give it to you in a thousand words, this shark is an old acquaintance of the scientist: Lilith. She did not hesitate to swim a few tens of thousands of nautical miles (via the Indian and Atlantic Oceans) to find her girlfriend… No doubt to ask her to show her around Paris while chatting about the good old days. It’s beautiful. How touching. The young ecologist explains to him that we must help Lilith reach the ocean, because a human life counts as much as an animal life, right? Sophia is in doubt… And then the mayor of Paris, at first a bit doubtful, gets involved: all that would be missing is that this big, bloodthirsty fish threatens “his” competition. No but. She’s not going to be at the end of her surprises.
photo credit: Netflix The mayor of Paris in Under the Seine : Anne Pécresse or Valérie Hidalgo?
Under the Seine : from worst to laughter
From Jaws by Spielberg in 1973 (the first “blockbuster” in history), the shark film has become a genre in itself. Risky as it made it easy to turn into nonsense. And this is unfortunately (inevitably?) what happens with Under the Seine, by Xavier Gens. Which at least has the merit of being original since it doesn’t take place in a city by the sea. But for the rest… Let’s skip over the muddy explanations to make us believe how a shark could arrive in Paris ( even if, in theory, it is possible), we have other criticisms to make of this film. Like: its insipid dialogues that will make you sigh. His characters without personality. Its special effects pretty lousy. Its eco-friendly message that doesn’t get through (at all). But, above all, Under the Seine takes itself far too seriously in its first part before sinking inexorably into the grotesque and make us eat, sorry, giggle. As for this ending… Phew, we don’t have the words. The worst part is that there is room for a sequel.
photo credit: Netflix Aaaaaaaaaah!!!.
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