What do our mothers pass on to us? Myopia, mine replied. But also some tips for moving forward in life. Say hello-goodbye-thank you. Make his bed. Wash your hands before meals, clean the table before eating dessert, don’t swear, don’t whistle in the street, that’s vulgar, eat radishes for your eyes, carrots for your complexion. Clean your face evening and morning, rub your elbows and knees with a horsehair glove, do not talk to strangers. Putting lavender in the cupboards, cooking French toast, basting hems. Don’t forget birthday dates. Take contraception, go to the gynecologist regularly. Repeat your German voice and librettos.
Universal story of unconditional love
Some mothers also say: love yourself, have confidence in yourself. Work, read, study. Be independent, proud of your journey, in all circumstances. Don’t let yourself be cut off, don’t let yourself be overwhelmed by discouragement, choose your loves and your life. Keep your head up. To the sons, they advocate respect for the opposite sex, the humility of those who are on the side of force and do not abuse it, reading books is their job.
In general, mothers phone at least once a week to get news, ask insistently about our health, take care of the children when we have them, don’t judge when that’s not the case, let us cry in their arms when we moan at the bottom of the pool. There are also those who lead their own ship and make up for lost time, but even the most rebellious transmit one fundamental thing: unconditional love.
And then, around mothers, there is a halo of mystery. Lives that have not been lived and lurk like ghosts. They had dreams, they had to make choices and the nostalgia of what could have been otherwise clouds them when they play their role. They put on a good front, afraid of not being perfect for others, of not being complete for themselves. They reconcile everything, they juggle all the time, they seem to be listing Post-its in their head, it gives them an absent air, we have the impression that they are swaying, that they are wavering.
The question is not whether or not to celebrate our mothers, but to love that they are not just that.
Find this editorial in the “Femina” magazine from May 12, 2024.
