(ETX Daily Up) – At Christmas, the ghosts of the past are not limited to Dickens' tales. The phenomenon of “marleying” refers to this tendency to receive – or send – a message from an ex, often motivated by holiday nostalgia. Between loneliness and the desire to reconnect, this behavior raises questions about the intentions behind these digital reunions. A look back at a phenomenon as common as it is delicate.
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Have you ever received a “Happy New Year” or “Merry Christmas” message from an ex who hadn’t spoken to you in a long time? If so, you have been a victim of “marleying”. This English term consists of resuming contact with a former partner during the end-of-year holiday period, after a long period without news. His name refers to Jacob Marley, a character who appears as a ghost to Scrooge on Christmas Eve in Charles Dickens' “A Christmas Carol.”
According to a dating site study eharmony, relayed, among others, by The Independent, of 4,000 single British adults surveyed, 11% say they have been victims of “Marleying”, while 8% admit to having contacted an ex themselves. According to the findings, Christmas Eve is the date we are most likely to receive a text from an ex.
Several elements could trigger this wave of nostalgia. According to the study, this time of year is thought-provoking, especially when you're spending the holidays in your hometown. This return to origins would offer the opportunity to reconnect with ghosts of the past, facilitated, in addition, by social networks. The emotional comfort brought by the end-of-year holidays, the nostalgia of good times spent together or simply the loneliness felt by certain single people at Christmas would be other triggering factors.
“Just because you're at home visiting your old haunts doesn't necessarily mean you have to feel obligated to haunt a former partner,” says eharmony's Rachael Lloyd. “While some people are happy to reconnect with an ex at Christmas, it's important to make sure you're both on the same page to avoid any confusion or hurt.”
Before you reconnect with an ex, or respond to an ex's message, make sure you're on the same page.
