Target of remarks every weekend due to his skin disease, Émeric Leray (28 years old) responds by scoring goals. The OC Cesson (N3) striker, notably through Dinan Léhon, Vannes OC and CPB Bréquigny, built himself around his vitiligo, which he ultimately came to appreciate.
When and how did your vitiligo appear?
It started when I was born, I was born with a patch of white hair (above my forehead) and skin depigmentation appeared a few months later. My father has a task or two, which are not very visible. One of my two older brothers has the same thing as me, but on a smaller scale. I’m the one it’s most marked on.
Where are your tasks located?
On the arms and legs. The areas covered by the Football jersey and shorts are the areas where I have no stains, apart from the stomach. Imagine a football player with low socks, that’s where my tasks are: shin, thigh, arm…
They stand out even more, as if you were predestined to be a footballer…
(He laughs). Maybe it was written! It’s visible, so, inevitably, people make reflections. But it always boosted me. I’m an offensive player, I only want to score and go celebrate in the stands and cheer them up.
Have you always experienced looks and words well?
Like any kid who gets criticized, but I never went home crying. It was useful to me more than anything else, it built my character. The world is made like that, there is a multitude of racial, ethnic, physical discrimination… I have not escaped it. It will be from the first day of my life to the final day.
Have you ever tried to hide your spots with tights or undershirts?
Never, I’m not ashamed of it. It’s not like I did anything wrong, it’s beyond my control. What can I do about it? It’s not easy to live with on a daily basis and it must be even harder for some, but for me, football helped me.
Have you ever felt self-conscious about this?
I certainly had complexes when I was little. However, diversity is what nourishes football. The only times I was able to get upset, where I heard things that were meant for me, it came from opponents: parents, children, supporters… The more you grow up, the more you see, you hear and you know that there are looks and words that do not deceive. You are pointed at, stared at, stared at.
Has this ever made you sad?
It’s more the opposite effect, it boosts me. Even without skin depigmentation, in football, there are guys attacked every weekend. For nothing. When it works, I love it. I don’t consider football without chambering. I’ve taken things in the face that almost made me laugh, but how many times have I gone to celebrate in front of guys who were yelling at me after scoring the winning goal…
Has this ever hindered your progress in football?
It’s just a depigmentation of the skin. The only impact is that depigmented areas are more fragile in the sun. But we play in Brittany, so the sun… (he smiles). It just fills me up a little in the summer, to go to the beach. If I had a message to convey, it would be that we must use it to move forward.
Do you think that young people don’t play football because of their vitiligo?
I think so. I live it well because I made a shell for myself. My personal life is full: I’m very close to my family, I’ve always had a good group of friends, especially thanks to football, I have my girlfriend, my son… So it’s easy to forget. But for young people, uncomfortable, harassed, it can be more complicated.
You were born and raised with it. For some, the illness comes suddenly.
Going from unnoticed to scrutinized and mocked must be more difficult. But I think it depends on how you take things. There is a fundamental fight. We need to highlight the things not to do and not to say, while maintaining lightness.
You play striker, a player that we look for and watch all the time on the pitch. Have you come to appreciate your visible difference?
It has become a pleasure to have a teasing audience. I’m not always calm, those who know me know that I’m even a sanguine person. But if I had to answer, I would answer every weekend. Because it happens every weekend, every match. By force of circumstances, the attacker wants to play, to touch the ball, to shoot and therefore, ultimately, to be seen.
Is it also to respond to the remarks that you wanted to be an attacker?
I always wanted to play as an attacker, I scored goals and I loved it, I didn’t see myself as a defender, I had the impression that they were pissing each other off. I came home and talked about my four goals, and them, the defenders, I wonder what they were saying to their parents (He smiles). I remember a match, in Ploërmel, three years ago, in R1. I’m a substitute, I come on at half-time, we’re down 3-1, we win 5-3, I score a hat-trick and I make an assist, I was torched the whole match on the other side of the field and I will celebrate the victory in front of them. Matches like this are the best. It’s my little power. The other side of the coin.
Do you know how the disease will progress?
Currently, the depigmentation hardly changes. The tasks evolved as I grew up, some disappeared, others got bigger. There are advances, including the beginnings of drug treatment. But that doesn’t interest me, I built myself that way. I’m not saying that if I had the choice when I was little, I wouldn’t have tried to change. The more you live with it, the less difficult it is.
Perhaps the ultimate proof of skin acceptance are these two tattoos on your hands.
These are the initials of my girlfriend, Mathilde (an “M” on the ring finger of her left hand), and Noah (an “N” on the index finger of her right hand), my son. This was done three months ago.
Photo credit: Photo Nicolas Tavares
