TESTIMONY – When I was little, watching films or series that showed images of parties where alcohol flowed freely and everyone seemed to be having a good time, I often said to myself that “Later, I’ll have parties”Growing up, I noticed that drinking alcohol was the norm, even among those close to me.
“I saw alcohol as a way to take care of myself, quitting proved me wrong” – Testimony
Yet I never wanted to drink it. At family meals, the smell of wine disgusted me and, when I started using social networks, I discovered videos about the loss of control caused by drunkenness that did not appeal to me at all.
In adolescence, the drinking parties begin
At the beginning of high school, my friends started going to parties, those parties where everyone drank until they were drunk. Starting to drink alcohol at 15 seemed a little early to me, but it was completely normal, even cultural. It was so widespread that my friends’ parents didn’t object to their drinking, and no one seemed to question the practice. Even in my family, festive or convivial moments are always associated with alcoholic beverages.
As I grew older, these drinking parties became more frequent. I always refused to participate in them. I saw people change when they drank, trying to get drunk to become funnier or more sociable, and I found that sad.
It scared me, too. What if alcohol gave me a personality that doesn’t resemble me? I have no desire to dance on tables in a bar like in the movies, for example. I also quickly became afraid of the vulnerability caused by drunkenness: one day, a doctor had to give me laughing gas for a medical procedure and the result scared me a lot, I told myself that he could have done anything to me, and I want to avoid this loss of control.
I was the only one who didn’t drink and felt a certain discomfort with alcohol. My friends started partying, but knew that I preferred not to talk about it, and that was okay.
Student life centered around partying
I kept the same line of conduct when I arrived at university. I quickly realized that in lecture halls, it was every man for himself and that it was very difficult to make friends. In my university, the associations responsible for creating links (like the BDE) organized a lot of evenings, and I know that they helped a lot of students to meet people, but I never went to them: their events were always in bars or clubs, always in noisy and alcoholic environments.
Sure, you can go to a place like that and drink a soda, but I’m not comfortable with the behavior of other people when they’re drunk. What do I know that some people won’t become violent, or even just difficult to deal with? Sure, anything can happen when you’re sober, but alcohol can lead to chaotic behavior. And it’s not very pleasant to see people you know in a trance.
In my degree, I was lucky: during class, I met friends who don’t drink alcohol either, and we got closer. However, I know that we are a very small minority and that if I hadn’t met them, I could have found myself isolated by my lack of desire to party, and I would have been very sad. I often think that it’s a shame: would I have met more people if alcohol was less commonplace? If the BDE organized alcohol-free events, in cafes or places a little quieter than clubs?
The apprehension of going back to school
This year, I’m starting my master’s program. Not only am I changing universities (and cities), but I also know that we’re going to be a small class. I’m dreading the start of the school year: our small number means that there’s little chance that I’ll meet other people who don’t drink, and I’m afraid that in order to create connections and fit in, I’ll have no choice but to go to bars. I hope that the subject of the master’s program will allow me to meet people who share my interests without having to go through that.
I also dread having to justify myself when I say I don’t drink. So far, I haven’t had too many unpleasant comments – except once when someone told me that my nights out without alcohol must not be much fun, and I found that quite sad, as if he couldn’t have fun without alcohol.
I often wonder why so many students drink all the time. We know it’s bad for your health, it’s dangerous and it can be addictive. But when people talk to me about “have a drink” during the week and I recommend drinking a non-alcoholic cocktail, people look at me with a funny look.
When I make jokes about it, it doesn’t really get a laugh. I just wish people around me would drink less. And even though in TV shows, everyone seems to be having a lot of fun partying, I’m glad I didn’t force myself to drink so that my life would be like that. I really like my calmer student life, drinking iced coffees.
Also see on Le HuffPost :
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