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Masked Oval
Published on
Dec 9 2024 at 8:24 p.m.
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You've all had this friend before. This friend who has the reputation of being a “seducer” (usually we use another word, but I try not to throw out vulgarities in the intro, please note the effort). Every weekend he arrives on the terrace, shirt open on a hairy chest, Ray-Bans screwed on his head, with a new conquest on his arm. You don't even make the effort to remember first names anymore. Behind his back, you criticize his lack of maturity, his unhealthy fear of stability, you regularly say “alalah, this one, he will never succeed in settling down!” “.
Well this friend has changed. And this friend is the Champions Cup! And yes, miracle: this intro was going well somewhere, and above all it has been a year since the competition that was formerly called the Heineken Cup has not modified its formula, and has not introduced teams from from a new geographical area, to the great dismay of the Thai championship which thought it deserved its place.
No need to remind you of the concept, therefore: the Champions Cup is around 60 matches per weekend, and in the end, France 2 always chooses to broadcast the least interesting ones. If you didn't have time to watch everything this weekend and you're too lazy to catch up, this column is here for you.
The match of the week
I was a little unfair with France 2. Certainly, as always, they decided to broadcast the Stade Toulousain meeting which has no interest, since they always give 60 points to everyone until the moment where they fall against Leinster.
But the weekend's match was also on public service airwaves. Please note, I said “match”, without specifying which sport, since as you will see we will be in a sort of vague zone between rugby, the medieval reenactment at Puy-du-Faf de Klerk and MMA .
We were all skeptical when the South African franchises were integrated, but today, we must admit that these trips to the rainbow country are the charm of the competition. Empty stadiums, a blind referee, a video assistant in the middle of a nap, jetlagged players who do anything, headbutting clearings, it's a sort of throwback to the 70s which is frankly not unpleasant.
Frankly, on Saturday, I was happy that my taxes were being used to broadcast a match with Dan Biggar and I didn't think that would be possible in 2024.
Anthology:
But it wasn't all violence in Cape Town. There was also rugby! And sometimes a mixture of the two, as in this superb essay by Baptiste Serin, originally with a memorable cartridge by Gabin Villière. It's poor Manie Libbok who took it again, and we wish him a speedy recovery since he logically ended this match in hospital.
Often caricatured as nags (remember that there was a basis of truth in a good caricature), the South Africans sometimes offered attractive play, as in Warrick Gelant's first try.
In the end, the carbon footprint is much better than the accounting balance for the Toulonnais, who bring back 4 points from their journey after this great 14-24 success.
Wrestling superstars
If we had told you that Stade Français achieved an unprecedented feat at Thomond Park, you would have laughed in our faces. And yet. Last Saturday, the Parisians made history in their own way, thanks to the complete expulsion of their second line. And with style, too.
Fans of Superstars du catch or from Catch Attack (And you, are you more of the Raymond Rougeau or Christophe Agius generation?) Baptiste Pesenti and Pierre-Henri Azagoh offered us the best of sports entertainment: clothesline, and even the sledgehammer, although banned from the rings of WWE for several years!
The problem with setting the bar this high is knowing what to do next. Louis Carbonel climbing the posts to do an elbow drop from the crossbar? Lestier Etien arriving in a coffin at Stade Français-Toulon for the Dominici trophy? We can't wait to see what happens next.
On the rugby side, Munster obviously won the match (33-7). We will remember the superb try by Shane Daly, as comfortable with his feet as Mohamed Haouas with a bottle of vodka.
Finally all the same, a small mention for the only Parisian test which highlights our fat friends, with this Peyresblanque-Castets combination.
DU-PONT IS ZERO
I mentioned it above, Stade Toulouain played opposition training against Ulster. The opportunity for many to once again marvel at the performances of Antoine Dupont™, as if spanking a team whose star player is Werner Kok had any sporting value.
Of course, don't count on me to howl with the wolves. Every week, I'll be here to set the record straight: Du-Pont actually sucks. The proof.
See you next week for more footage of Antoine Dupont being extremely poor at the game of rugby.
Other images of the week
If, as usual, Stade Français and Castres Olympique simply made an appearance, Union Bègles-Bordeaux made a perfect return to the competition. By offering us their typical European Cup match: they conceded 4 tries, but it's not very serious since they scored 8.
On fire since this fall, Louis Bielle-Biarrey shone again with a double.
Another French club to have won, Clermont. Yes, Clermont plays the Champions Cup, don't ask me why. Well, on the other hand, I didn't find any interesting images, since beating Treviso 28-0 by scoring on 4 carried balls is not exactly one's idea of fun.
Big favorite of the competition with Stade Toulousain, Leinster achieved an impressive success on the Bristol pitch. Sam Prendergast, the Sexton clone created in the basement of a Dublin laboratory 20 years ago, scored a nice try with a nice little pass feint.
Also note the debut and first try of Jordie Barrett.
Finally, Racing Créteil 94 also achieved a great performance by overcoming Harlequins. Admire this beautiful pass at the foot of Antoine Gibert!
That's all for this week, and it's already not bad (we're not going to go so far as to talk about La Rochelle, we have to be respectful).
See you next time and take care, there are lots of viruses circulating at the moment, think about barrier gestures!
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