You know the saying “music softens morals”? Well, this column starts off really well! And the saying “polenta is like puree, you eat it with your fingers” do you know it too? Oh well, they don’t know… How do you eat the puree?
So it’s true that music softens morals: once I lost my glasses in a po-go. Well, that’s it, end of the anecdote…
I started pushing to find them, everyone was pushing too, I said to myself “they’re nice people, they’re looking with me!”
Well, finally I took a shoulder hit in the nose, I didn’t see it coming… Obviously, eh, without the glasses. And here I know that the listeners didn’t necessarily need the end of the valve but since there are people around the table who are less spontaneous, I prefer to take care of it, don’t blame me.
Anyway, I’m talking to you about music because yesterday I was reading Le Midi libre, the newspaper for people who don’t have lunchtime imperatives, and I came across an article about a city from Finland which plays classical music on the beach, to scare away young people who come to party. We live in a world where we want order, security, no gaps… do we need youth? Nope! Youth must be silent…
The problem according to the mayor of the municipality of Espoo, therefore the municipality which does this, is that young people leave waste behind them… Yeah but there… If even young Finns throw away their waste where do we go? Usually the Nordics do everything right, as soon as we no longer know how to educate a kid we wonder how they would do it: it’s thanks to them that we have cargo bikes to take the kids 3 by 3 at school. If it had been a Latin invention we would have said it’s n’imp’, but it’s Nordic, we think it’s great.
So in this classical music playlist there is, among other things, the Blue Danube of Strauss and The 4 Seasons by Vivaldi, which play “tatatatatat ta…” over and over again, that’s Spring, the first season, and in general we don’t know the others, because Vivaldi is boring!!
Oh I love picking on dead people, that’s where my courage is most visible. No, I have nothing against it, but you have to give this paper an angle!
And the truth is that Vivaldi is beautiful, but its beneficiaries must have preferred money to respect for memory: waiting music from banks, insurance companies, elevator repairs, medical offices, they say yes asset.
Vivaldi is more classical music, it’s the trailer for lost time
Don’t leave, an operator will take your call: tatatatatata taa…
It’s really the song that makes you put the phone away rather than keeping it to your ear… which means that after a while, you forget that you have a call in progress, you wander off to your activities: you are cleaning, you are cooking or you are going to the toilet for example, and at one point you hear your phone left in the living room, which goes “Yes hello sir, thank you for waiting…Hello?”
And you’re like “yes, yes…wait, my hands are full…”
And there you appreciated my acting skills. Two characters, two atmospheres, one man: Alexis Le Rossignol
So they also broadcast theHail Mary by Schubert: I admit I understand. Is there anything more beautiful at the end of the day thanHail Mary of Schubert on a Finnish beach in summer? Personally, it makes me want to go there just for that… By train because I don’t take planes anymore! Not looking forward to coming face to face with an auditor in an airport!
In this regard, I learned that a round trip by plane in a Scandinavian country released as much CO2 as a pony in a year. So if I take a plane one day to go listen to Schubert on a beach in Finland… well, I’ll have to ride a pony to compensate. And on this subject Nagui I know that you are with me.
Broadcasting music like that to scare people away (often we’re not going to lie about the homeless), it’s part of what we call eco-sanitary management of urbanity.
There is a Wikipedia entry on the subject, which explains that it is about making groups of individuals invisible and legitimizing a new urban order. So at the eco-sanitary urban management fair, you can find: anti-homeless furniture, the specialty of those poorly classified in design schools. Ultrasonic repellents, Beethoven model: these are acoustic harassment devices which emit high-pitched, very high-frequency sounds similar to the buzzing of a mosquito and which only those under 25 can hear. I’m not making this up, it’s true, another commercial recovery which must flatter Beethoven if he sees us. Already 50% of young people born in the 80s think that it was the dog in the film that gave his name to the artist and not the other way around.
Like those who find it crazy that the hero of the 39-44 war has the same name as the main airport in France, and that the place of the same name too, what a coincidence all the same!
We also have the lamps that reveal juvenile acne, the nightmare when you’re flirting: let it be seen, face the light, oh shit, I didn’t see it then. Excuse me, I actually have to go home.
And a product which caused a scandal in Argenteuil in 2007: Maladore: which is quite simply a product which defiles a place by leaving a pestilential odor for weeks. Does it smell like urine downstairs? No problem, we’ll get rid of those urine smells with our shit smell! And above all, don’t thank us, it’s our job!
The rest to listen to and discover in podcast…
