“I was 13 when he touched me”, the wall of shame at Bretonnière high school

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“I was already told: “50 cents for me to fuck you (sic), does that suit you? “, “I was the victim of sexual assault by someone close to me: abandoned by the justice system and those around me”, “my employer has already told me that it would be good for me to come to work in a skirt”, “I told him I wasn't interested, he kissed me by force”, “when I was 5, I was raped by my stepfather”, “I was 13 when he touched me without my consent”, “during my internship, my referent pinched my butt while laughing. He told me it was just a joke…” You had to have a strong heart to go through the approximately 50 messages from the students posted in permanent marker on the “wall of shame”, at the Bretonnière agricultural high school, in Chailly-en-Brie. A wall that has never lived up to its name so well.

A shock for the students

Monday November 25, 2024, on the occasion of the international day against violence against women, the establishment organized awareness workshops. A brutal dive into an often ignored reality. And the least we can say is that the students succeeded in freeing their voices.

Invited to express themselves on inappropriate words or gestures, through writing, dancing or singing, the high school students were shocked by the impressive number of victims, even within their classes, like Stanislas , 20 years old, in 2nd year of BTS. “I didn’t think this day was going to affect me so much,” he comments. All these words on the wall of shame, I find it horrible, If we can fight against this, I am proud to be part of this fight. »

Anne-Sophie, 21, victim of sexism and homophobia throughout her schooling, confides: “It brings back what we experienced or saw. On the other hand, this day also allows attackers to realize that we are not going to let this happen without saying anything. »

The figures cited during this day were particularly striking: 80% of women with disabilities have suffered violence. A chilling observation that calls for collective action.

A necessary freedom of speech

“This day gives us strength, we feel included in a group and we see that we are all united,” comments Mathilde, 18 years old. The wall of shame is heartbreaking, it hurts to see that so many people have experienced this and that ultimately it is almost commonplace. Friends around me were victims. This kind of day does a lot of good to the victims. They see that they are not alone. The fact that the school organizes this shows that if we have a problem, we can talk about it and they will take us seriously. We feel supported. »

The consent workshop showed that this notion was not always well understood.

Louis, 18, is also upset by the messages from the victims and questions himself. The latter admits to having been himself guilty of inappropriate comments in the past: “At 13, I said a horrible thing. I told a girl she could suck my cock. Today, I understand the impact of these words, I apologized. I was really stupid (sic). »

Naëlle, 17, expresses a daily fear exacerbated by the stories: “I don’t leave my house outside of high school. I have been made fun of a lot about my religion, I am Christian, and also about the fact that I am physically male. I've been forced to do things I didn't want to do before. »

And added: “My own brother, at 12, already makes inappropriate comments. We need to educate boys better. »

Teachers facing serious situations

Teachers, often on the front line, sometimes feel helpless. Aude Canale, socio-cultural education teacher, declares: “10% of students per class have already experienced incest. It's enormous, and we keep quiet about this violence. We are not trained to answer this. »

Gilles Vallée, PE teacher, talks about the creation of a “commission for the fight against inequalities and discriminatory behavior” in order to respond to these problems. A report box will be set up, as well as a dedicated email address: “We want to provide a space for expression and provide concrete solutions. »

Students participated in dancing, singing, and even self-defense workshops. Coralie Chamois, professor, emphasizes: “This day allowed us to recall the basics of what is normal and what is not. The consent workshop showed that this notion was not always well understood. »

Dance, used as a form of symbolic expression, was particularly touching: “Some managed to release buried emotions thanks to these workshops. »

A message of hope

This day marked an important step in raising student awareness of the issue of violence against women. The messages displayed will remain on display in the establishment to remind people of the extent of the problem and encourage young people not to remain silent. As Aude Canale recalled: “You are the bearers of change. Don't stay silent. One word or one gesture can change everything. » The high school is committed to continuing these initiatives, with a next meeting planned for March 8, International Women's Rights Day. In Chailly-en-Brie, this day made it possible to break the silence, while sowing the seeds of essential collective awareness.

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