the essential
Pascal Papé gave a powerful testimony in which he tells the moving story of his life. The former Stade Français spoke in particular about his adoption, his psychological problems and his attempt to end his life.
Pascal Papé is not just a big guy measuring 1.96 m and 115 kg. Guest of the RMC Sport Club show, the man with 65 caps for the Blues retraced his life journey. A poignant story that he had already put down on paper in 2016, in his book “Double Jeu”.
Pascal Papé was not born Pascal Papé. From the age of six months, the rugby player was abandoned by his biological mother, a woman “whom life abandoned too quickly”, a prostitute and addicted to drugs and alcohol. “When the police broke down the door and came to get me from the room, I had been alone for almost two days because I was dying of hunger,” he confides.
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Entrusted to child welfare, the colossus is adopted by the Papé family, with whom he feels like “a full member”. Even though he grew up in a loving family, Pascal Papé did not have a peaceful childhood and struggled to build himself. Forced to see his biological mother once a week, he lives in fear of having to leave his family.
“Split personality”
The former second line remembers: “With this learning of life, I developed a split personality in the sense that I hid from everyone who I really was. I hid that I was adopted, that my sisters were not my real sisters from my rugby friends, at school. Hiding my life created a gap, something sensitive in me.
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Despite his sporting success (winner of the Top 14 in 2015, Grand Slam in 2004 and 2010, finalist of the 2011 World Cup), Pascal Papé finds himself close to “explosion”. An injury ignited the powder in 2013. Then captain of the XV of France, the native of Lyon seriously injured his vertebrae, to the point that doctors do not know if he will recover the sensitivity of his nerve.
“The pressure cooker exploded”
At that moment, “the pressure cooker that I had in me since I was little exploded” describes Pascal Papé. The player falls back into depression, to the point of thinking about suicide. For RMC Sport, he relates: “One day, I see myself outside my body saying to myself: 'the only thing you want is to sleep, so you will sleep forever'”.
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The Rhodanian therefore takes the necessary medication. Fortunately, his father arrives in time to wake him up. Subsequently, thanks to the help of specialists, the former French international was sent to a rest home. In this place, which “saved his life”, Pascal Papé uses writing to describe his ills: “I told myself that I was going to write my life to my children and that is the start of my book”. This remedy finally brings him the long-awaited “serenity”.
