This summer I met a great guy. Let's call him Sami (it's not my choice, it's his mother's). We meet on the terrace, we chat, we laugh.
Me, usually, men… let's say I'm mainly interested in them through their sisters. So, getting attached to a guy is a bit of cultural appropriation! But him… he makes me twist. I don't want children, but strangely, I tell myself that he could transform my uterus into an Airbnb: frankly, break down the walls and make a loft.
The discussion is fluid. And to make matters worse, Sami doesn't even know what I do for a living, so there's no need to talk about work. But little by little, I understand that he likes stand-up and knows a lot of comedians. Just… not me. Because I didn't break through.
At one point, he says to me: “I love Alexandre Kominek, have you seen his column this morning? » Yes, I saw her. I was literally next to him in the studio when he made it. In fact, I am even visible in the video. But hey, do we always need to be remarkable? I don't think so.
We have a great time, we fool around a bit and, the next day, I go abroad. We write to each other a lot, it's starting out pretty well. But as you can imagine, if I'm telling you this, it's because it ended badly. Otherwise, I wouldn't be sitting here but… let's say, somewhere else.
After three weeks of writing to himself daily, he no longer responded. Like that, clearly, right in the middle of a sentence. And not a sentence like: “I wonder what bleach tastes like?” “. No, no. A basic sentence and bam, nothing more. I say to myself: “No stress, he’s probably just… dead.” » Or, since his favorite comedian is Kominek, perhaps in prison?
One reminder, two reminders, no response. Okay, no message, it's a message. I got ghosted.
I don't really understand, because it comes out of nowhere, but hey, everyone is a coward. For example, I know that someone here already made a guy believe that she was going to live abroad to avoid a date…
LISA : These are very serious and unfounded accusations!
Don't worry, Lisa, I can't recognize you. Anyway, it's okay to lack courage, but Sami… he underestimated me a little. Brother, I wrote an entire novel about a guy I met again fifteen years after knowing him on Skyblog. So who's going to stop me? The police? Maybe.
So as much as I controlled my actions – I gave up and stopped writing to him – I don't control my thoughts. So I thought about it.
Here are three ways to get revenge on a ghoster.
- LinkedIn
You find his LinkedIn account and ask all your friends to leave an “unreliable” comment. Yes, it's excessive, yes, it's professional when it was personal… BUT GOOD. Emotional maturity? Never heard of it. And good luck explaining that to your future employer. - Fuck his brother
You go through his loved ones to reach him. You find photos where he is tagged, you deduce the family tree and you locate his brother. I saw that he had one. My plan: we date, we love each other, we get married, and on the day of the ceremony, I turn to Sami and say, “I told you I'd take your name, you son of a dog.” » - Destroy your idols
That’s why I’m here, folks. This is not a chronicle, it is a revenge. Fanny, what do we think of Sami?FANNY : Carlos, any thoughts on Sami?CARLOS : I know her mother very well! A wonderful woman, I remember her in the hall, in the bed, in the kitchen… But I would like to see her face too.
FANNY : And she sometimes ghosts you?
CARLOS : Of course ! And there, I slowly withdraw, and problem solved.
Okay, there you go. Now we're even, Sami. You shouldn't have ghosted me, but I don't blame you.
SIGN : will die
Above all, you remain a wonderful person.
SIGN : Shit bag
I only keep the positive from our history.
SIGN : This column is paid for with your taxes
Obviously, I moved on.
SIGN : My number in case you lost it: 01 56 40 22 22
And I wish you the best for the future.
SIGN : Unblock me from LinkedIn please
And then, of course… kisses to your brother.
The rest to listen to and discover on video…
