Sylvain Dufour was a home caregiver for five years. He now lives alone in his mother’s house in Beaucanton. The 46-year-old cameraman without a wife or children became a parent of his relative without hesitation.
children. She worked hard on the farm”,”text”:”My mother was born in that house. She lived there all her life and died there. She was the youngest of a family of 11 children. She worked hard on the farm”}}”>My mother was born in this house. She lived there all her life and died there. She was the youngest of a family of 11 children. She worked hard on the farm
he says.
Sylvain does not want to change anything about this residence, frozen in time, filled with artifacts and memories. Her mother’s diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease came in 2018. Carmen wanted to live in her house, but she could no longer stay there alone.
: “From now on, my life changes”. I quit my job and took care of her full time from 9August 2018 until his death on the 5thMarch 2023.”,”text”:”I said to myself: “From now on, my life changes”. I left my job and took care of her full time from August 9, 2018 until her death on March 5, 2023.”}}”>I said to myself: “From now on, my life is changing.” I quit my job and took care of her full time from August 9, 2018 until she passed away on March 5, 2023.
From 1989 to 1999, Sylvain was a reservist for the Canadian Armed Forces until reaching the title of master corporal. He always saw taking care of his mother as a mission. In the army, we didn’t have the right to give up
he emphasizes.
Her assignment
was therefore to follow the rhythm of her mother’s life, trying to ignore the illness so that each day was beautiful despite everything. This is why he refused help from the local community service center (CLSC). If an attendant showed up on Tuesday to bathe her, but at that precise moment she was in crisis, I didn’t want anyone to force her.
he justified.
In the spring of 2020, her mother’s life fell apart; loss of autonomy, balance. Sylvain discovers that Alzheimer’s disease goes well beyond simple little forgetfulness. Every day new things happened. She forgot how to eat, put on a sweater or how to put on her dentures. The hardest part was not losing patience. As with a child, I would turn on the tap water and let a stream of water flow to encourage him to pee.
Sylvain asked for help from an organization that helps caregivers in Val-d’Or. Every week, when he went to check the condition of his own house, located nearly 200 kilometers from Beaucanton, he had a three-hour respite. hours”,”text”:”But it flies by three hours”}}”>But three hours pass quickly
.
“ When she stopped walking, it was a big blow. I was not discouraged. I bought a folding wheelchair and built a ramp. I didn’t want us to get stuck in the house. Every week, we went to the caregiver dinner. »
Little by little, Carmen moved away from herself, from what she was when all her cognitive faculties were functioning. At times, aggression arose.
“ I felt like she was becoming evil. Her eyes… an anger I had never seen in my mother. »
Despite these episodes, Sylvain clung to the fact that once or twice a month, his mother said to him: Thank you for everything you do for me
.
He sometimes talks about his experiences to friends who have parents with Alzheimer’s disease. He says that, for him, the difference is that his mother recognized him until the end because he was hours on24.7days on7 with her”,”text”:”24 hours a day, 7 days a week with her”}}”>24/7 with her
.
Sylvain remembers the day of his mother’s death as a surprise departure. Nothing suggested that this day would be the last. The end came very slowly.
I put a bib on him, I heated his soup, he remembers. She was sitting next to me. She took a bite, then another… Her soup started to come out. Something happened to her eyes, then she died. I was holding my mother in my arms.
He comforts himself by telling himself that at least they weren’t in the hospital.
